Cole

silly me

What happens to an improv actor who skips their SSRIs? They get the zip zap zops

Do we think a bank would approve a business loan for a video rental store?

Also, what’re you going to do? Fight someone because they gave you a thumbs down?

I’ve started just giving bad drivers a thumbs down. If you’re gounng to act stupid, you should feel childish shame.

Boomer opinion: fuck ai call screeners. As someone whose job is Phones, I hang up the moment I hear “this is Google assistant”

The police HATE this one simple trick to get free things

Referenced the Nutty Professor II: The Klumps at work today. Room was as silent as a crowd of Generals

a cartoon of a man spraying a hose with the caption so i 'm spraying him with dirty brown water ALT: a cartoon of a man spraying a hose with the caption so i 'm spraying him with dirty brown water

My sink @ me this am

Everyone’s shocked when I have good ideas for new dishes. It’s weird how working in an industry for 17 years will give you some insight into trends and fads

I’ve seen a lot of Demonic Cultists being reborn these days. The Murim Orthodoxy really need to work on their righteous deeds.

I wish I could be Fred Armisen when I grow up

Why was everyone so focused on Wilbur? Charlotte was writing in English. Why was no one concerned with the literate spider?

I cannot understate how much disdain I have for Ion Hazzikostas and his Elitist Jerks. They turned wow into mythic progression slop. Who cares about a working economy when you can get a marginally better gear score.

@tonyhawkproskater.bsky.social ???

Harrengon psionic fighting an illusionist aboard a space station. He manages to shake the hallucinations just as the enemy throws a switch

Snap back to reality. Ope there goes gravity. Ope there goes Rabbit, he won’t give up that easy.

Marry love, fuck laugh and kill live

Fuck marry kill; live laugh love

Remember when Michael Jackson died and all the Pick Me people wore a single white glove for two weeks and acted like they felt more grief over a stranger than anyone ever? I’m so glad no one is doing that about Ozzy

When was the last time you saw a vw beetle or a pt cruiser that looks like pikachu? We used to be a country.

We’ve flown through the air, walked on the moon and turned lead into gold. But we still can’t make an umbrella that keeps your feet dry

Happy big cookie day!@justinmcelroy.bsky.social

Deborah washerman Schultz doesn’t get nearly enough hate for her role in causing our current troubles

Rewatching old Pokémon makes me so mad at Ash. Just abandoned his primeape at the Kanto dojo

Happy Bastille Day! Eat the rich and sic semper tyrannis!

Hate an “Eatery”. Shut the fuck up you’re a diner putting on airs

I have GOT to stop eating Burger King. It never ends well for me.

Self checkouts should shut down if you ring in more than 12 items