Jack (From Tom Clancy's Fortnite)

after my shower of black and milds and leaf wraps i checked out the rest of my customers and typed out this thread. How y'all doing?

I point at the door and yell "GET OUT."

He bows up further at me. "I said i'm not going nowhere."

"YES THE FUCK YOU ARE, GET OUT. YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE LINE. GET. OUT."

after he kinda figured out reasoning with me wasn't gonna work anymore, he shoved all his shit at me and walked out

"Sir, you've been trying to pay for the last 5 minutes. These folks are on their break. Please step aside so I can get them while you figure out your card situation."

He starts to bow up at me. "I ain't going nowhere til you give me my $5 back."

I. Have. Had it.

And he says "but i got the money so let me pay for it"

at this point i tell him point blank to get out. He's holding up the line, SEEMINGLY on purpose, and I just told him to, simply, "get the fuck out."

He's caught off guard. Pearl clutchery. "Why are you telling me to leave when I'm tryna pay??"

And he says "I'm trying bro you only charged me $5"

and i just,

fuckingf,

I tell him "Sir there's obviously some kind of issue with your card and you need to step aside and let the others check out"

and he's like "but you charged me $5 tho"

and I said "It'll go back to your card"

I tell him this

he's like "why'd you only charge $5"

and i said "sir I didn't do that, that's what came off your card"

and he's like "but I just moved the money"

and I'm. very much not in the mood at this point to play games.

I told him "Okay well you need to authorize the full payment"

people behind are growing audibly restless.

The line is so big it's kind of just fanned out into a first come first serve free for all

this guy is STILL moving money in and out of accounts

he tries to pay again

$5 comes off in a partial payment

This Guy™ is attempting to buy cigarillos, cigarettes, black and milds, you know, household essential staples

and he's kinda giving me the runaround with the payment

at first the card declines

we run it again

declines

he pulls out his phone and begins moving money in and out of accounts

The chicken plant workers slowly enter the store. I ring them up, but as I'm the only person on shift tonight and self checkout is down, I alone am the only point of sale.

The line builds further. Eventually I have a line, I shit you not, 30-40 people long. And then there's This Guy™.

basically. i work at a gas station next to a chicken plant in my town. Working the overnight tonight. A huge rush of chicken plant workers usually rushes the store around 1:30 A.M.

you can officially set the "days since jack yelled at a customer" counter back to 0

The Kids Are Calling It, "Weeding" or the act of smoking cannabis for pleasure. Studies show that more children are smoking marijuana than ever before. A new poll from RFK Jr. found that 67 BILLION American children are rolling fat doinks.

Gonna argue with science, liberals?

if you're gay you have to tell me. it says that in my monster effect box. You have to tell me if you're gay. Go ahead. I'm waiting.

JUST ANNOUNCED: Mii's Will Be Able To Fuck And Kill Each Other In Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream.

Miyamoto: "We got a lot of feedback from players of the first Tomodachi Life game and we decided it would be best if we let the Miis fuck and kill each other."

"This is Leon Kennedy reporting back to HQ. The zombie sensing buttplug has malfunctioned. Now my prostate is being stimulated every time I'm scared. Which is no good, here at Creepy Castle. Requesting immediate air evac support, a fresh pack of Newport 100s, and an ice cold Yoohoo. Leon out."

pornhub got banned in georgia so i'm going to have to get creative and write my own pornos i guess

[INTERIOR: IHOP]
vegeta: kakarot you insufferable bastard you got me pregnant at this IHOP
goku: our battle sure was fierce, vegeta. But you're pregnant now and that's all that matters

any day now we're going to get one of those markiplier hospital videos from trump

god put me on this planet to let me hit blinkers in the work bathroom

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

MY ISP

VERSUS

HIGHLY COMPLEX MASSIVE CHUNKS OF SCRIPT DATA THAT IS ASCII ART OF MY DICK AND BALLLLLLLLLLLLLS

BEGIN

"Yo we're your ISP, keepin' ya on the 'net, when it comes to protection we're your best be- oh that is a meticulously crafted weiner"

more to come but here’s an old doodle of me if I were some freak ass sacabambaspis

i gotta draw this again sometime cuz i love this design more than i originally thought I would

#sacabambaspis #digitalart

lovely image i took of my dog after i got a visit from the benadryl fairy

they should make ambulances funnier.

I dont wanna think about someone thrashing around and bleeding out back there, entertain my ass if you're going to take up traffic because "SoMeOnE's DyInG"

like have little clowns that hop off the back at every red light and have em flashmob

To elaborate:

I was on furry bluesky for a while and just decided tonight.

What if I just. Let go, for a while.

Im not saying I'll never return to the scene

but MAN oh man do I need a loooooooong break

man i'm gonna be real for a second being a furry was so much dogshit drama like basically at every turn and I'm finally breaking free of that cursed space. I am going to try expressing myself as an actual human being for once and see how that turns out

i'm finally free from furry bluesky

they should have done an episode of caillou where they taught that little bastard how to shut his mouth

we showing DAWGS!!!
( pictured: a slumbering old man of great power )

hellou bluesky💜