Ronnie Chen

Kiwi box sending a slime kit without warning is an act of aggression that will not stand

tfw you planned a day around baking but the day is getting warmer

@joshuajfriedman.com need an official ruling on this, please

stars anise, surely?

okay but emperor joseph was actually so valid when he said that some classical pieces have "too many notes" and that "there are only so many notes the human ear can hear over the course of an evening"

cold morning life hack:

bake a batch of biscuits to warm up the kitchen

so...did you learn guitar?

Every parent whose career has to do with online safety also bans Roblox.

oh i have been here all my life, it's just that i used to get away with it by simply being confident in my wrongness and looping around

thank you, this was the review I needed

it took me approximately 2 minutes to demonstrate that i cannot be entrusted with a nerf gun

unfortunately, the kid now has enough direction sense to bust me for having to backtrack when I go the completely wrong way to our destination

soon!

i need someone to aggressively edit down the list of holiday cookies on my baking list, pls help

no more news, i beg

"i need more chicken. feed me all the chicken you have."

please know that i had a dream last night that was entirely caused by this story

hey, uh,,,how much chia seed water can a kindergartener drink without suffering...Consequences?

asking for a friend

one thing about me is that i like to ingratiate myself with customer service agents by using the nato phonetic alphabet when reading off letters and it usually works a treat

they are doing such an excellent job at preserving the wisdom of the Old Ways!

(and also so funny that they did not have any expertise at [REDACTED] because that was not their specialization)

apologies to all the neighbors I have disturbed in the last few weeks by screaming myself hoarse at the TV while watching

Physical: Asia, the sequel to Physical 100, is one of the greatest things I've ever seen

what do you mean [REDACTED] has retained the genetic memory of their ancestors when it comes to [REDACTING] a [REDACTED] as if it was a thing that everyone knows how to do???

feel very vacuum about it all, tbh

this cat has better command of metaphor than any of the horrible reads you will come across in today's Discourse

please enjoy something delightful and pleasant instead

the laughs i have let out at every step in this process....

scaled it for a standard 20x20 pillow and printed it out and, holy shit you guys, this is SUCH a large goat

i know advent is technically a penitential season but i didn't realize people took it so seriously

i was not quite so ambitious but there is still time

Printed on the back of the box: JEPPSON'S MALÖRT has the aroma and full bodied flavor of an unusual botanical. Its bitter taste is savored by two fisted drinkers.

The box opened to reveal the 25 sealed compartments and inside cover art of Santa flying overhead and tossing bottles of malort from his sleigh with a "Ho Ho Ho"