Infra

I have so many regrets about my online presence since the start of 2020. I sincerely wish I could turn back time to rectify everything that has transpired. It really fucking hurts thinking about what could have been better vs where I am now.

(7/8)

I won't be leaving the communities I'm passionate about, because I still want to contribute to the best possible degree. I just want to be able to love myself and the world around me more, which is far easier said than done, but I really want to work on it more. Only then, will I succeed.

(5/7)

I would say that social media has been a net negative for me. It's propelled me into attachment-seeking behavior which has only caused further detriments. It also lead to a strong venting and self-deprecatory behavior that ended up damaging the friendships I made. I regret these traits.

(4/7)

I take great regret knowing I spent several years post-COVID being online, and, using it as my primary form of escapism, brainwashed myself into basing my self-esteem based on my social interactions with others. I so badly wanted people to like me, care about me, and perhaps even love me.

(3/7)

For these reasons, I feel distancing from Discord was a great decision of mine, because it allows me to realize just how toxic the online community is, and understand the dangers of forming a codependent bond on social media. That said, it's not just drama that pushed me to be distant.

(2/7)

Yet, at the same time, I feel relief being as distant as I am. With all the drama happening in the GD community, as well as a lot of American politics being shoved down my throat, being online has been incredibly draining of my mental health, especially when I receive harassment first-hand.

The eerie red mist:

It’s crazy to me that there are people in this world who would unapologetically hurt people and then act like it never happened, doubling down on what transpired.

Dropped this pretty quickly because I have no idea how to draw anatomy ffs

Being a beginner artist with zero experience whatsoever kinda blows, and I lowkey feel like my age is laughable with my nonexistent skill.

Still, I'll keep improving where I can.

Hopefully down the line I can finish this

Hi

Sometimes I can't tell what places are safe anymore to try and find community. Twitter with its rampant toxicity and glorification of discrimination, Discord with its AI-based moderation which can be abused to screw anyone over, and just about any social media being data-hungry and privacy-breaking

Hi

sup folks