A scientist from the future

they never stood a chance. hope she likes the rainbow cheese

this is not the It I would have wished for you. may her memory be a blessing and may you be ever enriched by having had her in your life. I will pour out a little fondue for her

if a flaming router with rotating antennae appears before you, be not afraid

if It did, I might have to take the rest of the week off and seek fellow humans at the nearest bar. out of respect of course

missed opportunity to call it magnificent what-the-duck

most governments would try sanctions first and terrorism second (or not at all even), but this administration does everything backwards
Hesgeth in the Department of Terrorism must be so sad to be sidelined

and thus my quest for a TUI web browser with CSS support begins

does it come in Alf?

there but for the grace of satan

a good hatefuck can be cathartic
even a bad hatefuck you're still screwing your enemies

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I've heard that this is pretty much top tier:

Hiring manager, you know you want Katy, you want Katy so bad, you don't even need to look any further. Trust me.

lots of corporate execs couldn't spell trig

a washing machine is just a freezer for your clothes

the natural and inevitable conclusion of AI is goatse

did you also leave your keys in the freezer? you put them down for one second in a nearby place while taking care of the ice and next thing you know your keys are gone forever oh wait there they are why are they in the freezer

it's how they get you to come back. capsaicin you grow your tolerance by repeated exposure so now you have to keep coming back until you can manage it with no tears
perfect business model. no notes.

prepare for a tunnel to nowhere on the moon. also whalers for some reason

we can save the goosing for him to do when he's recovered

may his recovery be swift and leave him feeling renewed

plus it's better to be a pirate than join ICE

With that amount of money I would be a patron. Find artists whose work I like and say hi I'm paying all your expenses, please create to your heart's content and show the world what you want not what they want. Fill the world with the beauty only you can share. Tah.

happy international pomeranian day

they really shouldn't do the whole gatorade thing at the football game when it's this cold out

*officer glances down uncomfortably then back up*
carry on sir

people getting burglarized after installing an alarm system is often a result of not turning it on, not the system itself.
the weak factor in security is frequently the humans and no amount of encryption protects against human error.
the best it can do is make it easy to do the right thing

You sly devil. I'm in.

does it come with a money-back guarantee? because I'm like this close to engaging but I need that warm and toasty feeling of the guarantee right there on the box

the Hog can't be bought for any number of cats

ooh so that's why Trump has been wearing that suit with the question marks on it