J [Fandom Granny]

This was such an unnecessarily flirty scene.

Then again, so was like 80% of RdRn interactions in AC.

Reno turns it into paper-mache using semen and tips it with his big toe toenails (they're the thickest) with pointy edges out tied on with yarn-spun strands of his ponytail.

He ends up just biting the guy.

Ts: Additionally the intercourse action should be completed before any marriage. You wouldn't want us to think you are untrustworthy.

Rn: I did on murder on my honeymoon, super convenient since he was one of my groomsmen. 😁

In the third phase of your training you're in front of Tseng, and he presents you with your next mission brief: to have intercourse with the person you chose to fuck and murder the person you chose to kill.

Ts: The marriage element is optional, however we do provide honeymoon leave.

Bcause he's Reno it seems like the kind of thing he'd think was funny, so you do it and don't think anything of it. Turks are weird and Reno is weirder than most.

I posted this as a throwaway joke but now I'm really into the idea:

You're a Turk recruit and you've been idly chatting with Reno about some of your friends from before you entered training. He goads you into playing Fuck/Mary/Kill with your 3 closest friends.

If marriage is selected, it is imperative that the fucking step be completed /first/, because /obviously/ if you fuck someone after you're married, that makes you untrustworthy, which the Turks would not tolerate. *nodnodnod*

a cartoon of squidward from spongebob squarepants says oh no he 's hot ALT: a cartoon of squidward from spongebob squarepants says oh no he 's hot

Every person Reno fights:

Must actually fuck and kill the chosen people from your introductory Fuck/Marry/Kill screening (marriage is not required)

Newest members must provide security for Heidegger and Scarlet's orgies. Must provide own raincoat and safety glasses.

Turks hazing/training rituals (in a comedy fic):

Must get from lobby of Shinra building to presidents office while completely naked, no staircase, and no keycards.

Must guess which 3D-printed ass replica belongs to which board member, blindfolded, by touch alone.

When Rude gets dirty at work he becomes a big giant sulky baby who Reno has to run a bath for and then burrow in hot towles before he stops pouting.

SOLDIER Sweeper
Trooper Toad (much more derogitory vibe)

Now that I think about it, Cissnei also a bit sus 👀

Also Jessie. She's thirsty for SOLDIERS even if she doesn't like Shinra.

Aerith. 😏 SOLDIER hunter.

Which is to say, "weird" is a matter of experience lol

Me @ 14 : i dont think I like the gay ones ...

Me @ 41 : this omegaverse BDSM breeding kink fic is fine ... I dunno, I was just really hoping it would have monsterfucking egging.

Tseng looks horrified. "You OPENED it?" He demands.

"No!" Reno immediately denies. "I just--palpated it. Gently. To check."

He demonstrated gently squeezing the small box wirh his whole hand while it was cradled in his palm.

"He's very gentle," Rude agreed. "Perfect pressure."

"We-ell," Reno hedges, smirking, "he's definitely covered in SOMETHING red ..."

"Subject is conscious, coherent, and capable of answering questions." Rude assures Tseng.

Tseng sighs, heavily, and pinches his nose. "What about the package?"

Rude and Reno walk into Tseng's office. Rude is covered head to toe in red paint. Reno is absolutely spotless.

Rn: Job went perfectly, boss.

a close up of a man in a suit and tie making a funny face . ALT: a close up of a man in a suit and tie making a funny face .

What if we just start a short intro and yes-and like an improv, round robin style, to completion?

archiveofourown.org/works/58582948 is the alpha version. It's unfinished but I'm rewriting it anyway, lol, so if you decide to read, bear in mind I'm updating it!

Guess who just heard back from the UK Passport office that their application is approved?? I no longer have to add 'in theory' when I say "I'm a UK citizen"! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

WIP Wednesday: Although is it a WIP if it's a rewrite of something you already published? 😂 Anyway, here's some of the v2 of Memories:

I think its more fun if he remembers the whole time but thinks it was some kinda delusion/dream, but then again we all know the hell I like putting him through 🤣

Mmm damn Rude reconnecting with his soulmate while everyone around him (including Reno) thinks he's just having some kinda early mid-life crisis by sleeping with some mobbed up punk?

Rude's cousin, Dude.

OMG I actually have an entire headcanon of this!!!! Tifa/Reno/Rude triangle except Reno's the focal point (just how I like it)
Elena: Hey Rude, who do you like?
Rude: ... ... ... Reno.
Elena: THE AVALANCHE GUY?!?!
Rude: It's complicated.