Jax

Imagine someone telling you they love you and actually meaning it… disgusting. I want that

On which date do you tell them you're Batman?

order a whole pie for lunch who gives a fuck

apparently I still have a conscious so that’s good I guess

THE INVENTOR OF SADNESS: what if I told you that you could have something that was weightless, yet so very heavy

i bet martha stewart's toilet wine was pretty good

Woke up with a restless blocking finger

I HATE THESE RACIST FUCKS

What do I know I’m just seven rotating dwarfs in a raincoat

My therapist said you talk too much

Basically I just want to be a moose lounging among the water lilies in a pristine lake in an old-growth forest

Gus is a Mastiff dog, available for adoption in Spring, TX.

Gus is a Mastiff dog, available for adoption in Spring, TX.

Gus is a Mastiff dog, available for adoption in Spring, TX.

Unlock endless joy and companionship with, Gus, located in Spring, TX.

Learn more: https://www.petfinder.com/dog/gus-75929757/tx/spring/lucky-tails-inc-rescue-tx2498/

All I'm saying is they could've spelled 'efficient' with fewer letters

Robin’s cape is a wardrobe.

We're almost halfway to Friday, don't worry

One sentence horror stories:
A world without coffee.

Life doesnt give you lemons anymore, that shit is now subscription based

Street cred is when your phone dies and you still navigate the city like a medieval cartographer

Do you realize wheat you’ve done?

Coffee is not just a love language, it’s an everyday regularly used language.

*lets my freak flag fly*

*gets it stuck in a tree*

Alexa, love me love me say that you love me

Impulse control is an oxymoron

Some people take pride in being heartless. That'll never be me.

i can’t believe it’s only 1pm

I have a headache and need a coffee

Bottoms make the world go ‘round.

It's all so heavy

i will never ask chatgpt, i wouldn’t ever defile the memory of jeeves like that

Not to brag but I’m the tits.