just saw an ad for pizza and i get home at 10pm tonight you bet your ass i’m getting pizza, advertising works! not from the place in the ad though their pizza sucks ass

look i’m not doing any VACATIONS to the states but damned if i’m not gonna try and enjoy the work trips

like maybe fuck the US government but also i’m still going here for work a bunch for the next months and currently drinking a perfect mai tai at a tiki bar in tampa and why can’t we just be buds again?

SHE engaged initially with ME and i’m just not at 100%

my airport brain doesn’t allow me to be actually flirty, just baseline charming, so really blowing it with this cute woman beside me at this airport bar

busiest time of year for work, so much to do, they gotta stop putting out video games i want to play

btw the key here was to go bat jesus bat jesus before grass

fun tip just measure your cardio times in long songs for example i just ran 2 jesus of suburbias, 2 bat out of hells, and finished off with a green grass & high tides

in this house we respect steve zahn’s contribution to cinema

to be fair it wasn’t me i already carry this knowledge close to my heart it was my friend haha

extremely expensive day coming up (disney) and found $100 american dollars in my suitcase thanks past brett

A 90’s Christmas (2024)

plot: 4/10
script: 4/10
acting: 5/10
santa? no just a witch in an old car
jesus factor: 0/10
actors pulling off 19 OR 44: 0
was my second note correct? duh
“what if john mulaney was raised by WASPs, more of a theatre kid, and sober?” factor: 15/10

fuck it, hallmark reviews here too:

Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story Extended Cut (2024)

plot: 5/10
script: 7/10
acting: 7/10
santa?: you bet your ass
jesus factor: fully secular
kissing? lotsa smooches
weird overacting bartender? he’s more of a chrismixologist
gingerbread house comps: 1

if i decide to put as much effort into making and executing a workout plan as i do making and executing a plan to catch every fish in stardew as soon as possible it’s over

made a trek for supplies (wine and shawarma) and felt like the homesteaders of old

what’s up you fucking morons?!

(trying out a new online persona for bluesky)

my vote is up for grabs for any candidate in any election who also agrees that bone-in dry ribs are fucking pointless

pokémon yellow to the polls

i think my struggle to stay on here is because my twitter started out in the early days and was like half-assed linkedin connection vibes and then once i had a base of followers i stopped avoiding trash/cringe posts so it feels weird to just go right to that

wait a minute this isn’t truth social there’s like 97% less grifters

fuckin’ fine

we all here yet? am i here? god it took me so long to have all those dormant followers

sup ding dongs

woke up couldn’t sleep went for run and then had a bath? in the morning? what is this, the frontier?

i remember there were well-attended twitter meetups at bars and stuff earlier on and i really hope none of that happens here

i had a pretty good vine following and it died, and i have a bad twitter following. anyway fuck you make me a bluesky star i’ll reference you directly in the WSJ article i promise

bluesky exclusive i ordered this hat while wine drunk

trust the brand

when i joined twitter it was still mostly like linkedin but less awkward but it was all coworkers in the tech industry so why not open with that