This movie wrecked me

I’ve been eating and sleeping well, wear warm clothes but I’m getting sick for the 3rd time since October. Fml

Meanwhile, this week, Thailand was the 3rd country in Asia to legalize it.

Imagine being Dutch and you want a bit of cheese but your only options are “young”, “medium” or “old” of the same actual cheese.

MFW I’m still hungover but it’s Friday night

Whenever I start to feel anxious I immediately have another coffee and scroll through the worst news imaginable on my phone and omg it does not help at all

Severance is like Lost but for depressed people.

The plushie grew an arsehole

[at food truck]

Me: "May I get a bowl of the Chicken Pho?"
Waiter: "Yes, you wanna spoon?"
Me: "Sure, what time do you get off?"

Big win for polio today.

So, would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or sit on a cake and eat dick?

Recruiter: we meant questions about the job

Yes, please proceed!

That recovery phase once your body isn’t crippled anymore feels grand. On the plus side I haven’t had a drink all week and probably lost a couple kgs from only eating veggies. Maybe I could go vegetarian for a bit, see how it goes.

Yes please, let’s have a vodka together

I’m on bluesky motherfucker