Ian Sammis

I wish I could — I'm teaching a class through that time today. I'll have to watch the film tonight (my tonight, that is).

two anime characters are dancing in front of a brick wall with a spotlight shining on them Alt: The torturer, the princess, and the magic sword singing and dancing to the opening of 'Tis Time for Torture, Princess.

Apparently I'm not the only fan; the GIF repository is full of images from the show.

The true horror: The demon lord's preschool age daughter was in the class, and the torturer FORGOT TO RECORD IT FOR HIM. He was so sad that his horns were drooping.

More 'Tis Time for Torture, Princess. Tonight's tortures: A preschool class playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on handbells, and a cork-shooting stand at a festival.

He’s gotten away with illegal orders before, but in those cases he was ordering the federal government to do something illegal. California, for example, will tell him exactly where he can stick this one.

No. None of this is legal. Even remotely. The things he’s demanding here would have to be implemented by states, and they won’t, because he has no legal authority to make the demand.

Other states can and should make statutory exceptions to accommodate this case, can't they?

A Gentle Nobleman's Vacation Recommendation. It's a cute new series. It feels a little like an otome game series with a male lead, if that makes any sense.

Not entirely fair either, but I got really tired waiting for Neels to actual develop Marius as something other than "rich, manipulative, and hot."

What I read: Tabitha in Moonlight What I expected: Nursing What I got: Cinderella the Nurse, strangly Dutch McDreamy.

Week 6 of Falling in Love with Love: A History of Popular Romance was Tabitha in Moonlight.

Toronto, not Vancouver. Still, the loons were the best actors in the film. #AtTheMidnightHour

Low altitude Vertigo, apparently. #AtTheMidnightHour

I WAS RIGHT!!!! LEAST PLAUSIBLE PLOT FTW!!!! #AtTheMidnightHour

a man in a suit and tie is wearing sunglasses and says that is an excellent question . Alt: Iron man "THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION" meme.

"I wouldn't shoot you"

"WHY NOT???"
#AtTheMidnightHour

OK. The two of them sleeping on that couch is officially the least plausible thing in this entire movie. Seriously, I don't care how in love they are, they're waking up with pins and needles in their everything. #AtTheMidnightHour

Or, if all those suspicious loons are any indication, Vancouver pretending to be the States, as it does so often. #AtTheMidnightHour

I'm assuming the girlfriend of the brother is the murderer, because that makes the least sense and it's that kind of movie. #AtTheMidnightHour

And he pulls his gun in the first 10 seconds of the interaction. Yup, we're here in the States. 🤦

#AtTheMidnightHour

THE SHERIFF IS REAL!

(Sorry, I assumed he was an off-screen device, not an actual character with an actor!)

#AtTheMidnightHour

"My email account has an encryption algorithm I wrote myself!!!"

OMG what a git. There were effectively unbreakable algorithms in the '90s too, and that's not what he hacked. He just figured out the password was HairDaddy1234. #AtTheMidnightHour

He brought it to the sheriff in 1885. He's a physicist, after all. #AtTheMidnightHour

"What saddle?"

"How did you know that???"

This guy needs remedial skulking.

#AtTheMidnightHour

I don't know how to say this, but someone cut your horse's brake lines. #AtTheMidnightHour

FINALLY! A MURDER!

Oh, rats, she's alive. #AtTheMidnightHour

Why did the music go instantly from Columbo to Gunsmoke? Seriously, what are they doing here???? #AtTheMidnightHour

Baldrick's still busy grooming for Earl St. Erth, sorry. #AtTheMidnightHour

DAMN IT, VIOLINS! THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE IN LOVE! #AtTheMidnightHour

I kind of want to see the version where she grabs the kid and runs off with the younger brother's girlfriend, leaving the brothers to their own devices. #AtTheMidnightHour

I'd point out that scientists don't act like this, but that's clearly a subset of "humans don't act like this," so it hardly matters. #AtTheMidnightHour

Honestly this entire movie feels like they were trying to improv a Columbo episode but everyone's too shy to actually improv a murder so the whole thing just kind of sits there with people being portentously awful to one another. #AtTheMidnightHour