Can't figure out why I'm tried besides the fact that I don't sleep and am always playing computer
07.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Can't figure out why I'm tried besides the fact that I don't sleep and am always playing computer
07.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa (ft. Charlie Puth) 🙌🏻 🔥😔🏎️
06.03.2026 22:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I opened a fortune cookie and the fortune was my exact home address and the time I get home every night and all of my weaknesses. Glad I got this one.
06.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I sure could use 200 cigs right about now.
06.03.2026 14:07 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Tommy Tallarico for Senate
We need a senator who has lots of Guinness World Records and used to be on G4.
He’s going to make the Intellivision Amico a reality IF YOU VOTE FOR HIM!
Our app has embedded AI technology that does not work and crashes your browser. It’s $40 a month.
05.03.2026 21:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I log on and look at the screen and it is blank so I type a single word: "Post"
I hit enter. nothing happens because everything has already happened.
The post was always up there. The post is me.
I close the laptop. The post continues on forever, in all directions.
Amen
“…while the Energizer Bunny is a single rabbit, the Duracell Bunnies are a species.” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duracel...
04.03.2026 23:49 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Haunted Piss
04.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0People who listen to podcasts are contractually obliged to tell you whatever bullshit their podcast said.
04.03.2026 13:35 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I should think differently. Everyone thinks I think wrong thoughts, but I should think right ones.
04.03.2026 03:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Being forcibly removed from the Build-A-Bear Workshop
03.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
feels like a good night to revisit this commercial for a dvd that hypnotizes you into feeling high. i'm glad this has been in my life for 17 years
03.03.2026 00:44 — 👍 17 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0How many monies do they give you at work?
02.03.2026 20:38 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I have stopped buying groceries. The air frier produces its own foods. It's amazing.
02.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My teeth are strong, my coat is shiny, and I do not have any intestinal worms. Let’s get that stick!
02.03.2026 16:58 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0the data spoke to me last night
01.03.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I refuse to use the baby urnial. Let the bald guy use it. I am an adult. All bald men are infants.
01.03.2026 04:03 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0february is finished today. don't expect there to be another february day tomorrow. it's kaput.
28.02.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Upon arrival, Lyft immediately asks if I want to book a ride home. Why? Is this like a ploy against the socially anxious? “Back out now! There’s still time!”
28.02.2026 16:14 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The guy who invented "distant reading" was just a normal guy standing in a field, really far away from the book when he had a revelation (Underwood, et. al).
27.02.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The unabomber made one big bomb. If he made two bombs, he would be the duobomber.
27.02.2026 14:47 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They feel great about it. I just asked Founder John Adobe. He loves it.
26.02.2026 19:48 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The geico gecko fucks
26.02.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0We need metal umbrellas
25.02.2026 20:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
"Just Walk Faster" Isn't Enough Sometimes frozen poop *does* fall out of airplane toilets and land on people walking around on the ground with enough force to kill them. And walking everywhere really fast won't help. ZTUL.BSKY.SOCIAL
25.02.2026 14:37 — 👍 361 🔁 50 💬 10 📌 4
Found a loophole in the terms and conditions that makes me legally the website
Linkedin influencer might be the saddest work one could possibly do.
25.02.2026 00:39 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Every single expert on this topic is wrong except for me, surprisingly.
24.02.2026 18:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Nancy 2/22/26… 🪱WOIMS🪱
23.02.2026 00:37 — 👍 7403 🔁 2003 💬 69 📌 129