Useless Slop.

Eh, fair enough
I don't think I will be anonymous on this account, but I'll try not to reveal who you are on accident if you want!

...I'm not sure, I'm not the person to ask..

...because you can improve yourself, you can fix your mistakes, and right your wrongs.

Thank you everyone! I feel a lot better now.. Hopefully I won't need to do this again!

...Could I get some words of encouragement from everyone?
...I've been feeling really upset lately..

I genuinely teared up earlier. I didn't think that when I came back, that I'd be missed so much... It boosted my confidence, that's for sure.

It's not your fault. There was a problem, and he didn't communicate with you about it. Instead, he avoided you entirely.

Mkay.. <3

..if I do though, expect half an hour of apologizing. I don't do well with hurting people I love...

I'm not sure.. I've hurt everyone I've been with before, and even deeply hurt friends too.. I'm scared I'll just fuck up again somehow..

There's one thing I'm scared of more than anything and that's hurting the people I love
I don't ever want do, and when I do, I just go into an anxiety meltdown
Thinking straight becomes difficult, I can't control my tears, my speaking goes floppy, etc..
I don't ever want to hurt Shio. I'm scared to.

I believe you will some day

Don't have either

That's literally just post-nut clarity, isn't it?

I appreciate your concern tho :P

Unfortunately my quest 2 broke a while ago so I can't use vrchat now :<

Literally me too

It's... Probably fine, it's not to a point where I make myself suffer intentionally
(Also, therapy's hella expensive, so I can't get any sadly)

I never stopped to think about the fact that I enjoy suffering
I get joy from pain, physical or mental
I fucking LOVE suffering and I can't help it
Guess I really am a masochist after all

I'm fine everything's fine I'm okay I'm fine hehehhehahahhahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahaa

Why would someone block a vent alt, but not their main???

God feeling like shit again..
WHY?? NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN??
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERY REASON.
WHY CAN'T I STOP FEELING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN?

I woke up feeling like utter shit.
I felt woozy, and I felt like I was going to vomit my entire body's worth of mass.
I didn't know to school today because I already get carsick easy. The last thing I need is to already feel like I'm gonna throw up.

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!
IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK?

GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BADLY!
I WANT TO BE NEUROTYOICAL!
I'M SICK OF BEING ME. I'M SICK OF BEING WHO I AM AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT!
I HATE EVERY PART ABOUT MYSELF!
I WISH I WASN'T AUTISTIC OR ADD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE I WSS DIAGNOSED WITH!

I HATE feeling empty. I hate feeling like an asshole.

I want to end it all. I really do.
But I don't want to hurt Shio in any way. So I won't.
Because if I do, I would have failed them twice.

God, I fucking HATE myself.
The only thing I ever feel for myself is HATE.
I HATE how much of a husk I feel like.
I can't even find the words to cheer up Shio.
If I can't even cheer up the person I love, whats the point of me?
Some fucking circus clown? Someone everyone can watch break down for fun?

I hope you feel better soon!

I don't even think of my self in a degrading way.
Every thought is neutral.

There's that feeling again.
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?