Nellie Wayans✨🥀

Finally back here omg! 😭

I love you.
I love the way your arms feels around me when we I hug you.
I love the way you talk so elegantly and voice your thoughts and your opinions on everything.
I love your mind and how deep it goes .
I love how chaotic you are, it makes me happy seeing you spazz.

Breathe. I said I’m not gonna keep toying you like that.

It’s a game… silly.

I cheated? I did. Didn’t I?

Oh, well, I tricked you. it wasn’t a game actually.

I changed up the rules the moment you riot against me.

That’s what you get. It’s all apart of the game. I’m the government. I said so

It’s the beginning of the game…

Player one entering amongst the other players are playing this unknown game

I kept toying with you over a prize

I said play. You riot. You get punished.

Oh, you don’t care? That’s fine we take the money.

Ooh you want it back? I was just “playing” man.

“She loved reading. It allowed her to cry over someone else’s sadness when she couldn’t no longer identify her own.”

I smiled, I touched my self, flattered by this. I could feel my eyes begin to swell. It been a while since I’ve had this feeling. You then held my hand, tightly. “He picked up our little pieces and put us back together heart,” I giggled, nodding my head. “He did, I could feel it.”

I then asked you what is his name. The new person that you’re dating. You blushed, just from loving the name that it is about to roll off your tongue. “His name is love,”

After a couple of drinks, you explained to me how this person made you feel: happy, healthy, even how much care he looked out for you. I’m glad you felt so happy for the first time in your life. You’re finally being free.

You kept rambling on about how happy you are with this person.

Walking up towards you, meeting you at the bar. It was a night. A night that I definitely needed again. A smile cracked my lips as I sat down next to you. You are so pretty, and full of light. I can’t imagine how much happiness you are getting with your significant other.

Until it gets big and fluffy and bouncy. It’s now your new plant. A fresh one. You’d hope that it keeps it that way as the bright lights covers it. You’ve watched how many changes it gone through. How many hardships it been through while you added more water to it.

Starting a New Year is like starting over with a new plant. You decided to snip the plant off the soil. It was dead anyways— it’ll be okay. You then pour water over it everyday, in hopes of a new growth grows. It felt more alive, seeing it growing memories as the roots grow as a new plant to be.

I’ve been slacking

But now, I can help.

I can help to ignore your call after months of no contact. I can help to ignore the feeling of us potentially still being together. I can help enjoying the feel of being alone with no one is there to pick up the broken pieces of my heart that was shattered months ago.

I can’t help but to keep thinking about you. I cant help but to keep reaching out to you in case you call or text. I can’t help but to miss you every time the memories will fill my delusions of you will come back. I can’t help but to wait for you. Waiting for us.

Sometimes you got to lay back and see things for what it is. Some things aren’t worth to crash out.

I don’t care how you feel about it. Books and reading are very political!

Follow my backup @niqueekennedy.bsky.social for Book reviews or something.

I put the whole album 😭😭 I can’t even choose fr

It’s reincarnated for me

You heard that laugh, you were confused. Scared even. You didn't meet the woman that you originally met before. You’ve met a woman who was full of revenge in her heart.

I crouched with a sadistic grin on my face knowing you had come to the realization. You’ve met Karma.

We talked, we laughed, went on dates(multiple), kissed. I finally got you. You're mine now. I finally caught you. I tricked you.

Putting you in a chair and tying you to it so you can't run away. A sick laugh fuels me watching you struggle.

Walking up to you without you knowing who I truly am. What? You Dont remember me? That's a bummer.

Extending my hand out for you to shake following with a warm smile. Introducing myself, yet again. You Dont remember me, but you will soon.

How dare you left me alone? Who told you that you could leave? Who told you that you can use your legs to walk?

My possessiveness have bee taken over me ever since you left. I stalked you. I craved you. Wanted to kill you. Yet, kill the person you’re with. Sent them towards an early grave, even.

You shouldn’t have left me alone. Ever. Now, I’m thinking about us and how wonderful we could’ve been of we hadn’t broken up.

Now my jealousy has been taking over my body since you’ve found someone no other than me. Rude. How dare you? How dare you get with them after I taught you everything.

But what got them messed up was, the old you was hurting inside, and they didn’t see. To them it was just them standing in front of a brick wall.

While at the other side, you allowed yourself to disassociate. Trying to remember the person they was before they became this gigantic monster.

They came back too late. They came back when you are already been on a new path to get to where you are. They came back when they realized how badly they’ve fucked up with you. All the foul shit that you put up with— yeah? They came back to see if you’re still the same.

Why do have to lie about us? (to) Me? Our love? Was it all a ploy? Did you have to sneak your way through my heart to fill my delusions that bad?

Did you lied telling me that you love me to uphold that promise and wanting me to smile happily with... you? But only you're happy with someone else?

Now unfortunately that trust is broken. The five little word don't mean anything to me since you can't uphold that. I didn’t know you'd do me like that. I didn't know you'd be like that. Sneaky. Grimy. A liar. You're indeed a liar. A fucked up one.

Bro, I trust you. I trust you to be there for me. I trust you to not tell my secrets. I trust you to love and care for me, just like I do to you. I trust us to keep memories of each other forever and create new ones, each time we get together.

I want to get married. I want to be able to smile at my future spouse while I walk down that aisle holding that banquet in my hands. I want to feel my heart pumping in my chest in excitement. Breathing happily that I’ll be able to be there for my future spouse sickness and health. Thick and thin.