Hi! My name is Paul

Dear delivery drivers. Stop texting me that "I'm here" when really you're about 2 minutes from actually being "here."

In Lanai I saw chickens just running around outside a KFC.

Why don't I know my own age?

Examine door

i hope this email doesn't find you. i hope email never finds you again and you are free

She asked if I was OK. I have meds again, and I can feel them working, so I'm better. But I wanted to walk around the counter and give her a big hug.

She didn't have to ask. She opened herself to carry a stranger's burden. Little pieces of humanity are all I need. Can we string some together?

Went to the little store near home last night. I was staring blankly at the cigarettes, and the cashier asked if I wanted smokes. I said no, but in very quick succession I described what it's like to walk around as a ghost. No job, no connection. I tried not to cry as I left. I went back tonight. 1/

Reggie? Reggie? Reggie? Tracy Morgan and Daniel Radcliffe team up for 'The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins,' Jason Bateman and David Harbour clash in HBO's 'DTF St. Louis,' previewing upcoming stories, and more

In today's free What's Alan Watching? newsletter, thoughts on The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins, HBO's new DTF St. Louis, plus The Pitt, Scrubs, and more. Read! Subscribe! Share! Remember that Hooch is still crazy!

All my robots run on diesel. They are a real smoke show.

Can I be one? I'm not an asshole but I am hungry

I grew up living paycheck to paycheck, but through hard work & perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

The kind of month this has been... for a second I was like, "not him too!"

Photoshop of Corey Lewandoski lying in a bed on an airplane with a suitcase on the foreground

Kristi Noem Fires Coast Guard Pilot After He Forgets To Transfer Corey Lewandowski To Another Plane

I didn't see the note where someone has to do it in this order.

a man in a suit is walking up a set of stairs that say lift a lo on them Alt: Donald Trump with toilet paper on his shoes as he ascends majestically onto Air Force One after a dissatisfying two.

BOLD STATEMENT:

No highlight package should include the ref walking to center court to tip the ball. I have one exception:

Private Investigations reveal it's just off of Telegraph Road right past the Tunnel of Love. I heard Romeo and Juliet met there Twisting by the Pool. They chose Love Over Gold, but found out The Man's Too Strong.

"All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me." ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I don't know. My foldable is getting sticky.

David Byrne: Nothing but vegetables? Hmm. Might be something there.

Who up fucking with the algos?

People choose to die on some really strange hills. Hamburger, for instance

Trail cam photo of a bear. The bear's backside is facing the camera and it is looking over its shoulder back at the camera.

Tired of selling toilet paper mama bear started a side hustle with a bears after dark cam on Only Fans.

Until there is a real, institutional, FORMAL reckoning where elites and media acknowledge the *horror* of what has happened with Trump-- the realities of his dictatorship-- we are never going to fully claw our way out of this tendency as a country.

Shave stripes into cat.

/The cat does not like this. You are now covered in scratches

Put down cat

/The cat is now latched to your face. Also, the cat is only a concept of a cat. Your puss-filled scratches are less conceptual. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Guy in hockey mask enters...

@sesmith.lol I just feel like you need to see this.

There you go again, beating a dead horse. Be spontaneous for once and beat a dead wombat.