emily

I love when train companies are like "thank you for travelling with [company]" girl we both know I didn't have a choice, its this or a 10hr coach

Keeping things in your phone case is intangible cultural heritage

FOOD ALRIGHT IF YOU LIKE STODGE & CUSTARD. MY HAIRDRYER IS REFUSING TO COOPERATE. DOING LOTS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTS.

Pilot over the intercom: uhhhhhhh we are all just flesh. We exist so briefly.

This is what those fluffy moths would look like without wings

I love when my landlady hides my cheap stuff in cupboards because it interferes with her aesthetic

Rip to every fucker on spareroom but I'm built different

If I had a room to let on a website for letting rooms I would simply reply to my messages about the room so I could let the room

I think it would be funny if the Scottish police hq was called England Yard but I think they probably hate us too much (understandable)

frankly it’s misogynistic that the lady scream that’s in a ton of horror movies doesn’t have a name like the Wilhelm Scream

I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate ren

This heat is not helping my "What if I smell really bad all the time and everyone's just being polite about it" paranoia

Edited tweet from Zohran Mamdani saying "Byzantines not looking so "Constant" now lol", dated May 29, 1453.

listen, I like the guy but this is unacceptable

Acab includes ace ventura pet detecive

Yeah i like dune part 2. dune part 2 my hair with a comb

if you ever get by a venomous snake just bite it back and the venom will go through your body and back into the snake killing it

You got hors d'oeuvred

This is like the evil version of the sending wedding invitations to rich people and companies thing

It's genuinely a skill issue

When the chile is pepper but the finna is gag

It hurts how bad people are at spotting AI, "oh but its so realistic now" everything is too smooth and symmetrical and brightly coloured please go outside and look at real objects and people

She stand on my business till I clock

Test the temperature of the box with your elbow to make sure it's not too hot for them

Would have been a way more efficient way of achieving all those other things too

Be it minecraft? Or thinecraft?

Who up hotboxing they hive

Who up hotboxing they hive