em 🌩️🦊

Tbh I might have to drag Mr em out for a pub Sunday lunch next weekend. Maybe a little walk in the woods first to pep me up for it (I am so jealous I wish that was me today)

It's 6.45 in the morning and I'm just laying in bed thinking I could absolutely demolish a roast dinner right about now. No energy to cook one, I just want to eat it.

Well now I absolutely need a rock/popstar ed fic in which he writes an entirely unnecessary, cringe, and very much not asked for song about how his new boyfriend's massive dick changed his life.

Karaoke sex chicken sequel except it's 5 times ed and stede managed to toe the line of public sex offences at jackie'z and the one time they broke an all time record for both Jackie penalty points and the length of their resulting ban ✌️

How's pregnancy going you ask? Well, I just spent 10 minutes sitting on the kitchen floor uncontrollably sobbing because I accidentally broke the little bowl I made in my first proper ceramics class that my cat eats her treats from 😔

Mr em has covid 🙃✌️

This probably earns a CW for pregnancy but if I'm honest, please mute me if it's a tricky topic for you because this is both the best and absolute worst thing that's ever happened to me and I will be celebrating/complaining about it for at least the next 6 business months

My "growing a new human is very tiring" afternoon lay downs have become such a staple of my day that I am now the proud owner of a special sofa duvet set and memory foam pillow I can have "actual rest, not just sad lay downs" - direct quote from Mr Em

Hello I am pleased to announce that despite Dr Doom's empathy lacking not-diagnosis back in August, we have now confirmed, with the help of the most lovely sonographer, a kiwifruit sized em jr with all the right parts a baby should have at this stage of growing 😌

Perhaps this is quite niche but I have caught up with the sewing bee and to say I am shocked, appalled, and deeply upset would be an understatement

My limited internet time truly RUINED by being blocked from all the nsfw channels in every discord under the sun because I refuse to verify my age 😔 I just wanna look at rude things in peace 😔

Some positive news re: this hell. Saw my community midwife for the first time today and she's SO MAD about this, apologised so much for our experience, and has directed us to the feedback and complaints 😌 best believe I've got my typing fingers ready.

Man, I miss the person I was three years ago when I was in the depths of plotting and writing seven point three miles. I was a Storytelling Machine back then 😭

the real answer, i know, is both. both is good. but authors: would you rather nail the opening line of a story, or the closing line?

Extreme close up of a cross stitched cubone sprite. He is stitched on white fabric and is coloured with a dark grey outline.

Extreme closeup of my best boi™️ cubone who I am preparing to stitch onto everything I own.

I've also watched all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls which is less of an achievement but it is comfort tv so I stand by that decision 😌

A photo of a very large completed cross stitch project of the original 151 Pokémon cross stitched as coloured sprites. The background fabric is white evenweave and the Pokémon are arranged in a grid pattern.

Life continues to Life with a capital L but the one nice thing I have managed this summer is the completion of my OG 151 cross stitch after 3 years and god knows how many stitches of work 🙌

A little bit overwhelmed by everyone's love and support rn. As you can imagine mr em and I have absolutely negative spoons for anything and I cannot possibly reply to everyone individually but we are feeling your love and thank you all 💛

I've been super absent because growing a new human is fucking exhausting, and I'll probably continue to be absent until we find out "which one it is! 😀!" in a few weeks time. And when I've figured out how to teach that guy what empathy is. Fucking hell.

Cw: pregnancy. Not really the way I saw myself sharing this news, but I need somewhere to Feel about the abject cruelty of a male Dr *laughing* through his explanation of "bleeding at this stage of pregnancy goes one of two ways and we'll find out at your 12 week scan which one it is!"

A screenshot of the android clock app. An alarm set for weekdays at 6.15 has a banner across the top reading "paused from 18 Jul - 2 Sept". OP is finally on summer break!!!

It is done.

Suddenly they're finding themselves in a million meetings with producers and they're both allowed to stay but stede spends the entire next episode purposely throwing every challenge so he HAS to be the one sent home and ed knows what he's doing but can't stop him and ahhhhhhh (for love!!)

You just know the sewing bee subreddit would be ALIVE with people absolutely convinced they're banging and also people shaming the shippers for bringing the tone down

Two pronged question there: how many episodes before they break the inappropriate conduct clause Vs when are they found out 👀

I've been thinking about this all evening ed and Zheng are the judges, Lucius is doing a Joe lycett style presenting role, stede got into sewing after coming out and is a bit of a sleeper underdog in the competition

Apologies I FELL ASLEEP last night but mmmmm yes

Ed is Patrick I have no further comments

Girl I am COUNTING DOWN THE MINUTES to Friday afternoon and my 6 week freedom (I'm actually sitting in my office doing very little of the end of year admin I should be doing) I am HOPING to have more words fall out of me alongside selling my flat and buying a house and going to festivals 😂

Old res ed and his fuckass [redacted] is my reason for living rn 😌

old res ed, enter stage left 🌲
chapter two of old reservoir is waiting for you here: archiveofourown.org/works/667105... 💛
#ofmdfic