Who decided that screaming was spelled ‘AARGH’? Because seriously, they were a genius.

YouTube video by skolander Green Eggs and Ham narrated by the Reverend Jesse Jackson

youtu.be/A1mqg4C0awA?...

Fare thee well, Rev.

Miss the idea of great songs being ‘Standards’. I bet it was pretty cool back when you’d expect any musician with a going career to show you their take on, say, *My Funny Valentine*. Love it if that came back. Give me Bad Bunny’s take on *Psycho Killer*. Any Good? Who knows! I want it anyway!

Donald Glover, please record commentary tracks for V and VI as Lando.

HAN: Lando’s not system he’s a man…

LANDO VO: Don’t let him fool you babies, Lando’s a system AND a man.

Imagine if your whole life, your entire job, was to eternally just take dives in the 10th round.

Don’t get any ideas champ, we both know how this is gonna go down. Now, get out there and give the cheap seats a good show.

Once is never, twice is always.

Next time someone asks how you’ve been recite Death of the Ball Turret Gunner in Seinfeld voice. It takes a little prep but it’s worth it for how it lands.

Calling ‘Welcome to Derry’ mid is an insult, a grievous affront to all the other shows out there working hard and giving their all to maintain their midness.

For the record: I’m throwing it in a volcano.

If Donald Trump was a document format, what kind of document format would he be?

He’d be a pdf file!!

THANKS I’M HERE ALL WEEK

That’s what I’m screamin’. Been telling everyone who will listen this same thing for years. And you know what’s wild? I think position would be broadly supported across the political spectrum.

BREAKING: You Can’t Fool All of the People All of the Time

Someone approaches you in 1993, tells you what the internet currently is, and what it will become by 2025. He gives you a choice: let the internet be, or kill it in its cradle. Which way are you voting?

YOU, an idealistic clown retaining hope like a sucker: Engages in meaningful and strategic acts of resistance, opens dialogues and builds support networks, prepares.

ME, an intellectual: Stands on streetcorner with a THE END IS NIGH sign.

Look, all I’m saying is: When I die, if anyone ever quotes anything I said, you should construe it as a personal attack upon my memory, and work to see that they’re punished in some way. Why do you look all confused?

Share what you’re doing instead observing of the 4th of July.

AI DEVS: Good news everyone! Our team has created a broken clock that’s right 182 times a day provided you check it 50 Billion times.

Almost anything by Dick Dale

What the absolute FUCK

Amazing movie. I saw it once like 10 years ago and it’s stayed burned on my brain. Paul P is a hero.

But I’m happy to say that there was a long, rough, road to a happy ending for Paul Pena. I won’t spoil it, because it’s pretty wild. Suffice to say y’all should check out the documentary Ghengis Blues if you’ve never seen it. It’s a 100

So that already seems like kind of a dick move right from the jump. But it gets even worse. Because, for some reason, Paul’s album gets stuck in kind of development hell. It winds up never getting released. So Steve winds up releasing Paul’s song, scoring a hit, and pretty much erasing Paul.

His name was Paul Pena, and he was recording in the same studio at the same time as Steve Miller, and Steve heard and liked one of his songs. (It’s the big-old-white-freight-liner one, I forget the name) So Steve decides he wants to cover this other guy’s *brand new original unreleased song*.

More fun Steve Miller trivia: y’all know he stole his first hit from a blind African-American man?

Haha. Noooo. A different word.

The Joker by Steve Miller Band. God. Fuck that song. It’s peak riding-around-in-an-open-jeep-on-a-beautiful-day-and-shouting-the-f-slur-at-people music. I’d kick Steve Miller down a flight of stairs just to hear the noises he’d make, which would still be 10,000% more enjoyable than The Joker.

WELP. We fucked around and got us a dictatorship.

Good thing we got all these state’s righters and strict constitutionalists around. They’ve been just dying to rise up against this kinda thing. I’m sure that’ll start any second now.

Hardest thing about Springtime is the sudden lack of pockets.

The afterlife I want is my true best self gets reincarnated as a character in a great book.

The middle class now seems be 75% comprised of people who are just good at being poor. How long’s it been this way?