SeparationOfChurchAndKate

New WoW blood elf lookin like @gregdaviescomedian.bsky.social

Text exchange with my British Mother where I state I am making food that should be the consistency of wallpaper paste and she immediately guesses, correctly, that I am making peas porridge. Because of course she does. I HAVE NEVER MADE THIS BEFORE IN MY LIFE. I'M NOT EVEN SURE SHE HAS. AND YET SHE KNEW, INSTINCTIVELY, THAT EDIBLE WALLPAPER PASTE MUST MEAN PEAS PORRIDGE!

My British AF Mother 🙄❤️

For further clarification, the ingredients in said recipe are peas, water, a vegetable stock cube, and, in a bold move in the direction of flavor, an onion. Seasoning is salt and pepper.

Directions are "boil".

This is a genuine step in what I can only describe as "the most British recipe I have ever read":

5.If you need to add more water do, the consistency should be that of wallpaper paste

An Amazon listing for a cocktail themed baby shower decal that reads "A Tini one is on the way" with martini decorations around it. The irony of fetal alcohol syndrome is apparently lost, and you just know this mom is going to be the worst kind of Wine Mom imaginable.

No, but real talk, Bethany. What are you REALLY gonna miss for the next 9 months?

A customer service person (man), who was not only unhelpful but gave me info that directly contradicted paperwork they sent me, just ended the call with "smile for me and try to have a great day"

So if anyone needs me, I will be out committing unspeakable acts of evil.

Gonna call this Superbowl as a win for @nekocatcafe.bsky.social . Cheers to Zest and his father

Yeah, I bet! That's like, textbook Trauma! You will never not take a fire drill seriously again. I don't know how to say this without sounding trite, but please take care of yourself and don't underestimate how this has affected you. You are loved and we want you to be okay 🩷

Good gracious, woman!! I'm so glad you're ok!!! ❤️❤️❤️

She just keeps going! I think it's over, and then boop! She's back in the air! The coordination that all takes! I struggle to badge into work while holding a travel mug 🙃

But remember, iT's NoT a SpOrT 😜🙄

YouTube video by JOLLY British Highschoolers try Pecan Pie for the first time!

North (pea-can) and South (peh-cahn), we must finally put aside our differences and unite against a new common enemy: The British (Pekin)

youtube.com/shorts/4NbWT...

I go to work absurdly early. One of the best things about this is that as I'm driving in, all the crows who sleep in the graveyards on the outskirts of my city are waking up and heading out for the day. So I roll into town to blackened skies and a cacophony of birds screaming. It's the little joys ❤️

We can all agree that there is no noise in Space. That said, they're gonna hear that shit on MARS!

Temu Troopers!! 🤣

Common decibel dangers:
110 Leaf Blower
120 Ambulance Siren
130 Jackhammer, Power Drill
140 Airplane Taking Off
150 Jet Engine Taking Off
189 Rocket Launching from Pad
4000 National Nightmare Finally Over

A black unicorn with rainbow vines and flowers flowing up its neck

In my mind, this is you

Had a coworker give me a mug once that said "I'm a happy little ray of pitch black"

A pot of mysterious red goo from the good people at Spirit Halloween labeled "Glitter Blood" (Sang Scintillant) Dazzling, Sparkly Blood. ...as if that is a thing that was ever wanted or required

New nickname for the perky goth in your life:

Yet she lost points for citing The Smithsonian 🙄

Fun facts about the Bearded Vulture:
- they subsist primarily off pure bone, making them a key member of nature's cleanup crew (and Metal af)
- their head feathers are actually white, but they rub colored dust and mud onto them, making them a rare animal that intentionally wears makeup

Love them!

If it helps, there are a LOT of conservation groups doing what they can for the Bearded Vulture (Vulpro springs to mind), they are doing better in Africa than Europe, and have been spotted in places in Europe they haven't been in forever. People are trying. : ( ❤️

The world is awful, so here's something better: there's an almost 12' shark (11' 11") named Hanna off the coast of New Orleans right now. She weighs 722 pounds, and she's pregnant! So yay for Hanna!

Gonna be rude if the rapture happens AFTER we've all put in hours at work. You couldn't have raptured all these people BEFORE I had to sit in a useless 2 hour meeting with them??

This guy gets it

Love it when autocorrect changes a word I typed, then says it doesn't make sense in the sentence. Like, I know, bitch.

Ex: I gave blood yesterday
Changed gave to have. Then suggested "I have blood yesterday" made no sense and maybe meant to say "I had blood yesterday"? Like I fucking misplaced it?

A picture of hair defying gravity and forming a wave very similar to The Great Wave by Japanese artist Hokusai

The Great Wave by Japanese artist Hokusai, depicting a large wave in choppy seas with Mount Fuji in the background

Who wore it better?

Anybody else remember that strange flash-in-the-pan that was Web TV? Mind boggling in the moment.

"You mean I can chat on AOL...on my TV?! In a way that is slower/more frustrating/less efficient than my computer?! Incredible. Truly a mark of sophistication and class."

Finally got around to seeing The Accountant 2, and the most unrealistic part was a Federal Agent NOT wanting to use illegal means to reach their goals. Very difficult to suspend disbelief there

A screenshot from Tumblr User milfsisyphus suggesting that weed dispensaries should ask if you want to round up your purchase to donate to PBS, and if you do you get 30 day access to the complete series of Antiques Roadshow, allowing drugs to win the war on drugs.

Sorry to be one of those "reposts Tumblr" jerks, but this is a great idea.