Auntie Social

coooooool cool cool cool cool

“My father was born in a small German village at the foot of the Alps.” — Senile Satan

Narrator: His father was born in the Bronx, New York. He’s senile.

So, let's just be clear here, between 1/4 and 1/3 of the votes in Dallas County are going to go uncounted, because Ken Paxton, a candidate, petitioned for a ruling to not allow extra voting time for terribly confused voters, and won in the State Supreme Court.

This is a grim preview for November.

How.long before Trump starts threatening to drop nukes unless he gets a "very good deal" from other countries? 3 days? 4?

The Tin Man had no kids because he had lug nuts

Ayatollah this wassa gonna happen 🤌

That's not a bug. It's a feature

“ADHD is a superpower”
The superpower:

I'm sorry, is it the Department of Special Combat Operations now?

We need to get Maury to host.

A week long celebration of dad jokes, call it The Paternity Fest

U.S. Troops Were Told Iran War Is for “Armageddon,” Return of Jesus Advocacy group reports commanders giving similar messages at more than 30 installations in every branch of the military

EXCLUSIVE: At more than 30 installations, U.S. commanders told troops the war on Iran is a Christian war.

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation has been “inundated” with more than 110 complaints.

One NCO said they were told the U.S. war is to bring about Armageddon and the return of Jesus…

So how long before MAGA starts getting MRSA in solidarity?

youtu.be/v91zqf-PHqI?...

I hope it functions as expected

Breaking: rashy blotch reportedly concerned about ugly orange lump growing off it.

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I've nearly died from that, and that texture looks awfully familiar.

Can't wait for all the presidential staph jokes

Looks like MRSA may accomplish what congress refuses to do.

HER: let’s do reverse cowgirl

ME: okay

TOGETHER: lrigwoc

Just a reminder that not everyone in the military is a bootlicking asshole. Many are kids with no other options and others were born into families that expect the kids to join. Don’t be an asshole and cheer on their deaths.

No deaths in this war are acceptable.

I would do anything for love…
But I won’t do... oh who are we kidding?

a marathong is when you run — actually, dear reader, you can probably get this one on your own

You absolute morons. At least she could have been reasoned with.

Quote from Washington Times editorial board "[Radical liberals] don't realize that, when they express contempt for the man who holds the country's highest office, they reveal their contempt for the Americans who put him there."

Uh no...we definitely realize it.

A pile of mannequin arms.

Police Raid Home of Suspected Arms Dealer

Nothing changed!

He lied then, he lies now, he will lie tomorrow!

Nothing ever changes with this lying sack of 💩

If i had a restaurant in Cleveland, I’d serve steamers

I did not.