Maeve

I'm really trying not to feel imposter syndrome about MFF since I work my ass off for conventions, but.. theres so many larger fursuit makers going, and I'm just this small-time maker.

I'm nervous.

Hamburger Help Me.

I got a lot of work done and now Im in migraine hell from the weather.

God I swear im not your strongest solider, please stop.

I dont belong here.
Im never asked what I want.
Im never called the right things.

Im tired. The battle has become harder.

I can't do this anymore.

I feel really low lately.
I exist for other people.
I dont remember when I did something for me last.

Im so tired.

"Sometimes I forget why I wanted to live."

Jfc.

Im about to try Bumbl again but im also just vibing

Im a fat thembo I aint hiking.

Ive been trying Hinge but its also been ass.

Sorry, please excuse the mess; My hearts been pouring through my chest.

We are all dogs in god hot car.

THEYRE NOT WRONG

It's hard. It's hard sitting with yourself when you're suicidal. You have to be so careful with every move. Taking meds but never too much. Remembering to feed yourself. Trying to remember how to be happy or learn to fake it.

It's hard.

Getting real tired of this shit.
If my opinion means nothing why am I here.

Like I want them to create and be able to eat and pay rent because theyre fucking human beings too. But I've also been irreversibly damaged by this individual. How do I even process it??

I hate that I love the fursuits my abusor's partner makes. I don't like seeing them on my timeline, but I also enjoy them on my timeline.

Ugh. Im conflicted.

Hell, I feel trapped in my own body.
How do I not be so anxious all the time?

Feeling very trapped in my own home.

Im caretaking for my disabled mother, basically running the kitchen for a family of 3 and the groceries for it, fursuit making full time.

Im tired.
Am I allowed to take a break?
There's always something that prevents it. So far all the breaks ive gotten in years have been because I couldn't work.

Im very burnt out.
I dont know how to make it better.
Lately my health has been dog shit and I need surgery after megaplex.

Im just.. drifting without a purpose it feels. Is what I create important? Does it matter?

What am I doing with my life

8 days.
In 8 days, I turn 30. An age I thought I'd never see.
I'm still processing this.

Did I just spend $155 on 4 shirts? Yes.
Support your artist friends!!

You check our accounts like your check your empty bank account.

Today was not as expected but whatever. Im too tired to keep up with it.

I should have loved you better.

Im just fucking trying to order some punk clothing for the concert im going to and my tots are too big for anything I want >:(

a wolf laying in the grass with a cedar waxwing on their nose

Grass Dreams and Waxwings 🌱

(revenge for @leafesprout.bsky.social !! 1.5hrs)

There's like two people id date rn but neither one wants to :,)
Ill get over it it just sucks bc each person im super close to and it just is arg

This is getting so out of hand.
I feel like I dont even have the rights to my own body.

a stylized illustration of a white cat lying in a pool of sweat. One hand gives a thumbs up and the other holds up a bottle of anti-depressants on a yellow sunny background

depression resistance 📈📈📈
heat resistance 📉📉📉