miqo

So upset & I can't vent it out anywhere & it's ruined any excitement I had in doing anything I was planning to do when not sick lmao

I have been trying to end my stream hiatus for months or hang out with ANY of my friends but can't sit at my computer or have things happening to me weekly & I'm tired.

The previous doctor kept writing down either nothing or downplaying my issues which is going to fuck w me getting disability I'm sure which already feels impossible. Idk why I'm the only one that can't get it it feels. I get chronic migraines every week & she wrote them down as headaches every time.

I haven't been on this cause things have either been busy or rough, June was a pretty tough month. I have a doctor's appointment in August that im hoping I will finally get some help from someone that will listen to me or take me seriously.

Finally got approved for Medicaid, doctors & dentists are scary because it feels like they never take me seriously or judge me immediately but I have to deal with it
Apparently like a shitload of people are about to lose medicaid though so I might lose it as soon as I got it lmao

I don't envy srdaily dealing with Twitter, I refused to ever look at the sr tag on twitter

Was gonna make a big post but decided not to but lmao
Getting tired of reposting for the sr account & having to see "all sr's hate k" constantly when literally no one I know or have met does... also can people have a shred of awareness & stop putting that or sr hate in the tag

Crying from my social anxiety at this point, not the first will not be the last but I'd love for it to go away!!!

Right now my only gripe is wishing I didn't miss out on so much because of anxiety or disabilities
I wanna hang out with friends more than I do, vc feels scary even with people I talk to daily in chat
I hope it improves so I can play games with people & hang out more

It's been a lil bit since I've been on here, I was struggling a lot socially with my anxiety & because of some trauma resurfacing & feeling unsafe talking anywhere but I am doing better with it now

Huge news

Genuinely just have to close my shops because the amount of money it will cost to produce my merch no one will buy it (no one does already) & keeping it this price would make me 100% lose money
My shop ended just as it began it sucks I've always wanted to do merch I had so many ideas

Color photo of a white lily blossom, overlaid with a black skull and cross bones and text that reads “no lilies for kitties”.

It's time to start reminding people: LILIES ARE DEADLY FOR CATS. The leaves, the petals, the stem, even drinking a bit of vase water or licking a few grains of pollen from their fur can cause fatal kidney failure. ⚠️ www.fda.gov/animal-veter...

i have to remember to think positively, let go of negative things that happen to me, move on to the next thing & don't think about the thing that failed. my merch did not sell at all so i am bummed. but i can't really do anything about it.

& the mental toll i went through i'm definitely still recovering from. i was practically breaking down every day. there's not much you can distract yourself with when even watching something is too difficult physically.

i am trying very hard to not let my mind take over me, i had an extremely difficult week last week/week prior or i guess month. the weird health issue i had has finally gone away so there is that but as i start the week i am realizing how much all of that completely drained me. i'm exhausted.

Idk what's going on w me but it is significantly worse despite feeling better briefly yesterday & I'd like A Break please from dying in a new way each week

People will refuse to wear masks because "freedom of speech" but ban people from wearing masks

He knows I'm not feeling good & he is relentlessly slamming his head on me

YAA it is rough but most of the time people aren't thinking anything of things or it's not negative

Yeah I try to remember that or that it's pretty much always in my head. Or things like someone mightve just completely forgot to respond to me, which I do myself, rather than it being on purpose. The mind loves playing tricks.

Being autistic makes it that much harder because I can't understand if something was negative or social cues or

I wish I could get over my social anxiety & thinking oh this person Dislikes me but it seems like something that will never improve. I want to talk to people without feeling dread after.
Why would they dislike me? I don't know! But I'm sure gonna believe it till the next time we speak.

Hey, can you pick me up please? I want to cuddle. #Ella #kittens #CatsOfBluesky

I did get a sale today which is nice, not all is hopeless

Feeling super unsure about my merch, keep worrying I'll put all this work in & we'll put money into it only for no one to buy & I'll feel awful
Idk how etsy is & if it's viable at all, & bigcartel requires a subscription to post more than 5 listings so I'm urgh
I'm just trying my best with things

Comin’ in for a crackly kiss. #Hal #EveryDayHeIsABitBetter #kittens #CatsOfBluesky

I’m big. I’m tough. I’m strong. And my eye has an itchy. #Hal #Kittens #CatsOfBluesky

Prepare to melt. #Erin #ThatPurr #ThatSqueak #kittens #CatsOfBluesky

IT’S CATURDAY!! Sorry I’m yelling, I’m a bit excited. 😆 #Ella #kittens #Caturday #CatsOfBluesky