New Year, New Raccoon

can you believe he actually escaped? or did he just go back to twitter??

these posts are the perfect length

i was wondering 😁

explains why donald duck isn't wearing any pants i guess

i’m jeffery epstein and you’re watching disney channel

i did it i finished 1984 please clap

"snow possible tonight" says the new ottawa weather forecast

ottawanians (ottawites? ottamans?? ottawenians???) must have a thousand words for snow

good point

two different weather notifications, the snow in ottawa is expected to soon (lies) and it's 42 degrees in langley city

thank you samsung but i dont live in either of these places

still haven't finished last week's starfleet academy but i'm blaming that on that it kinda sucks

me and my adhd have 46 hours to get through the last 50 minutes of 1984, time to buckle down 😤

new copypasta dropped

first quarter numbers are looking REALLY good, proud of you

i woke up today with a fire in my heart. a passion to do the one thing i love: bring value to shareholders

i saw that in the walmart but asked myself why a mouse would climb up the little stairs

that's the best nothing ever

Normally I would come up with something clever but it's 2am so you get NOTHING...

...except this lizard who is very surprised

could be more than one mouse who even knows. i wore gloves but no mask. maybe jesus'll come for me soon 😇

vacuumed the room out and poured some food on a bigger glue trap. either this works or my wife dishes out the poison 😭

or just a friend waiting to be made 🥰

how many bottles is that

saying “who’s ready to get to know the real me” then taking 40,000mg of benedryl

if i manage to catch the little shit i'm naming him stagmo 👍

bsky.app/profile/thad...

praying mantis inspired names for your pets:

-Melliera
-Vatini
-Temna
-Frons
-Stagmo
-Rapax
-Raptryx
-Dera
-Iris
-Teryx
-Oxy
-Tithrone
-Bantiella
-Ocelli
-Chopard
-Gris
-Rehn
-Phyllo
-Statilia
-Tarachodes
-Sibylla
-Pseudo

On second thought, go ahead & beat a dead horse. It’s harmless fun

you hush now

kesler the tuxedo cat

he was the BEST little guy. unfortunately i named him after a sex pervert

plus the cat passed away couple octobers ago 😭

no, this possibly WAS a pet mouse who escaped 2+ years ago and was possibly living downstairs with the filthy children but then they moved out and his food sources dried up

the top of dit clapper's mouse-house with two (2) mouse droppings on it, i'm gonna lose my mind

THERE'S MOUSE POOP ON TOP OF DIT'S HOUSE