Reform fury as someone else wins by Our By-election Editor Tim Shipsink The losing candidate in the Gorton and Denton by-election, Matt Goodwhinge, has demanded an immediate re-run of the election on the grounds that he lost comprehensively to someone else. "It's totally unfair and rigged," said Goodwhinge. "I shouldn't be required to sit there and suck it up, just because I lost." Mr Goodwhine continued, *I can't believe that all those voters I demonised failed to back me. Especially after I was endorsed by Tommy Robinson and ten million Russian bots on X. "We have clear evidence of family voting, where people voted in order for me to stop deporting their families." Mr Badloser concluded. "I'm the victim of colour prejudice. They didn't vote for me simply because I'm not green." Reform leader Mr Farage, speaking from a sun lounger on a rock near the Chagos Islands said, "It's a tragedy that the people of Manchester won't see Matt in Westminster, but my constituents don't see me in Clacton either." PLUMBER DEFEATS MATT GOODWIN Photo of Hannah Spencer with speech bubble saying… I've stopped the cock

Beautiful from Private Eye on the massive toddler-tantrum that Matt Goodwin and Reform are having, because they got whooped in Gorton and Denton.

If the form of the last ten is anywhere near repeated over the next nine they'll be there or thereabouts. Saw some saying we'd win every match, just the odd 21 game unbeaten run chucked in, as you do!

Absolutely. I'm confident the people above and the manager will be a lot more joined up in their thinking about the squad, and will avoid the unwanted shirt sellers, or past their best fading superstars of yesteryear. Couple of new midfielders and full backs and there'll be a much better look to it.

Defeats are oxygen to him. Makes him and his ilk relevant again for a bit.

We were 11 unbeaten. Last defeated in December in the league. As expected the head loss has been generational on here. Some really do need to get a grip.

Seems to be de rigueur amongst the newer builds, I noticed the ones at camp nou are f**king massive too.

It’s looking increasingly likely that Kristi Noem and Lewandowski funneled almost 200 million in government money to a company that is run by her friend and that nobody can give an address for.

Oh, and it was 8 days old when it was awarded the contract.

Yep. Pretty much nailed it on my thoughts further down the thread.

I can't get my head round why people think he'd be any good. It's like giving the Chairmanship of Tesco to the local newsagent. He's an agitator in charge of fringe minnows. Always has been.

Yeah. But I think he's been alienating the "it's time to give someone else a go" type moderates since his comments on ILR. This pettiness and baby trumpism style will see him fall further away IMO.

Yeah. I've been of the same mind for some time now. Nothing in his political career has illustrated he has the stamina for office. He'd absolutely hate the constant scrutiny, he'd lose out on millions and he wouldn't be able to swan off to point at distant islands at a moments notice.

Even more evidence that his head would completely fall off if he ever got near office.

Sanchez: “We are not going to be accomplices to something that is bad for the world and that is also contrary to our values and interests, simply because of the fear of reprisals from some.

We have absolute confidence in the economic, institutional and I would also say moral strength of our country

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It's a very niche reference! It's from this Peter Kay advert. Source: YouTube share.google/IfcfT06PJlOz...

Crazy. Imagine saying this a few short months ago? They'd be measuring up your bedroom for a snooker table.

If villa beat Chelsea and we win,CL is pretty much home and hosed. No way they make up 9 points on us in the remaining games.

If they ever reach office these people will be forever known as having a leading role in the destruction of Earth.

Some legacy eh?!

This reinforces what we already know - Reform cronies are bankrolled by big oil, along with a lot of other ‘high profile’ people.
It feels like the tobacco industry lobbying & desperation all over again. Beyond shady.

Screenshot of Telegraph headline: Eir Nolsøe Labour is finally getting migration under control. It's a nightmare for Reeves Much lower numbers of migrants would cost the Treasury billions Photo of Starmer and Reeves ث

I’m sorry, what now?

Are you f’king kidding right now @telegraph.co.uk??

The "US Prez" classy as ever from the S*n.

The glibness. The indifference. The carelessness. The utter lack of planning for a war against a country of 90M. The sickness of a man who acts on whim that will kill thousands not hundreds. The horror of a regime that enables this sickness. The broken body politic that votes in such malignancy.

It's from the bargepole Melanianoma keeps using to push him away.

Yep. Three times the national average, apparently. Plus the people who voted for everyone else who are also unemployed.

You'd have thought it might have been something they would have campaigned on, if it wasn't just completely made up nonsense.

Cactus Scientists Recommend Drinking 8 Cups Of Water Per Year WASHINGTON—A consortium of the nation’s leading cactus doctors issued a new set of guidelines Thursday recommending that Americans drink at least 8 cups of water per year to maintain proper hydration....

LOL

theonion.com/cactus-scien...

Sure. Almost 15,000 unemployed out of a constituency of 76,000. Plus the other unemployed from the people who voted for other parties.

Seems feasible.

You just know there'll be a massive overreaction when we do finally lose, even though it would have been months since our last defeat.

Sort of getting the US to fix some of the problems it has just caused by launching the initial attacks.

The security of UK citizens, British troops in the region and coming to the aid of targeted nations asking for our help is the right thing to do and all legal means must be used.

International law allows for this sort of defensive action.

From what I understand, the UK itself won't be doing it, but the UK will be allowed to use British bases to carry out defensive action only to stop the missiles and drones from being fired. And nothing more.

Tune in tomorrow for a rambling outline of his first childhood memory and some extremely irrational business plans.

That's it now. Wearing a suit all the time for some reason. Every area "used to be all terraced houses this" or "fields". Going to shops that used to be mills.....