Stuart Stevens 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺

Sat at an airport waiting for a plane. Airport boarder security strut past all suited and booted.

My three year old watches them pass us and wistfully says ‘I’m going to break the rules.’

Farage: epic grifter

Will do lol

Can you bring out polls on here?

Adverts in the middle of a film? Bezos is taking the piss. Sort it out Prime.

I’m trying to explain to my three year old what a music record was.

He’s only ever known Spotify or Amazon/Google speakers. The idea of a physical record is alien.

I feel like a caveman trying to explain my trusty pointy stick.

Maccabi Tel Aviv will not accept Aston Villa Europa League tickets Israeli club Maccabi Tel Aviv say they will not accept any ticket allocation from Aston Villa should the decision to ban their supporters from next month's Europa League match be overturned.

FYI. Maccabee Tel Aviv won’t even let their own fans attend the game because the club itself accepts that their fans are outrageous and dangerous. But go on, tell the club it’s wrong about its own supporters.

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

If you’re determined to have this discussion.

I don’t agree that Israel should be allowed to compete in international sport. If you commit genocide and bomb multiple countries around you and steal land, you should be banned.

I didn’t call Jews animals though. I called these hooligans animals.

You should see me watching a London derby. Spurs fans are regularly likened to bottles.

I was talking about football hooligans who go to away games and attack the locals.

Wasn’t talking about Jews. Wasn’t talking about ‘those who follow football’ like myself.

Good to know where your mind is at though.

Starmer wants to allow these animals into Birmingham after they rioted in Amsterdam last year. Their matches in Israel are being called off in the last few weeks because of their ‘serious violence’.

How will the British citizens be compensated when this lot inevitably commit violence in Birmingham?

My only real question about “Prince” Andrew after all this coming out is…

…do we think he’s sweating yet?

Last week my three year old said ‘he’s a fat man isn’t he daddy!’ while we were swimming at the gym.

Yesterday he said ‘he’s an old man isn’t he daddy!’ while we were swimming in the same pool.

How long is it before I’m banned from the gym?

a close up of a man in a suit and tie ALT: a close up of a man in a suit and tie

Why is no one asking what “Prince” Andrew meant when he told post conviction Jeffrey Epstein that they were ‘in this together’ and would ‘play again soon’?

Bet he’s sweating over this…

So my 3 year old and I were in the adult pool at the gym. He turns and looks at a guy next to us and says loudly and clearly ‘He’s a fat man isn’t he daddy?’

He wasn’t wrong but I had to swim to the other end of the pool.

Jeepers don’t say that.

My three year old told me that he’ll love me ‘until the sun falls out of the sky’ at bedtime tonight. He’s a poetic little chap.

British steel faces ‘biggest crisis in its history’ as EU imposes 50% tariffs — The Times and The Sunday Times The British steel industry faces the “biggest crisis” in its history after the European Union said it had “no choice” but to hit the UK with 50 per cent tariffs. In a blow for Sir Keir Starmer’s “rese...

It’s almost like being in the protected market is better than being out of it.

British steel faces ‘biggest crisis in its history’ as EU imposes 50% tariffs - The Times and The Sunday Times

apple.news/AHL-K_3VrQZO...

After over 2 years of searching, I found my favourite mushrooms at Thetford Forest! 🍄🍄🍄

This is bucket list stuff worthy of a mention. You’re all welcome.

It’s because Americans don’t have real sport. It’s just built around ad breaks. No other country in the world does this.

Was up at 2am because my 3 year old couldn’t find his teddy ‘chick’ last night. Then up again at 4am because he ‘needed a hug’. Then again at 5am because he couldn’t find the blanket’.

Ou it takes me back to early baby days. 🥴

Why aren’t the Courts in the US conducting remote hearings for refugees and asylum seekers?

If my clients were being targeted by rogue agencies with no accountability I’d be applying for judges to list cases remotely so the client could attend safely. Scary stuff.

South Park is incredible. They’re just all out at war with Trump and his people. It’s fearless. If only everyone else had half their backbone.

New statue on National Mall celebrates ‘long-lasting bond’ between Trump and Epstein Bronze statue by an anonymous creator shows the two men frolicking and holding hands with a foot kicked back in joy

Some people are too funny.

You know when someone says ‘don’t push the mysterious big red button…’

I’m 100% going to take it now. For curiosity if nothing else. I’m not pregnant anyway.

‘Trump’s so fat he needs two seats on the Epstein jet.’

- Robert De Niro on Jimmy Kimmel

That was funny.

I keep pegging my wife in public and she’s fallen out with me.

Apparently it’s weird to take colourful clothes pegs out and covertly clip them to her when she’s distracted and wait for her to find them.

Hashtag normalise pegging.

Now I see. It’s not the guns causing gun death. It’s all the hormonal trans people. It’s the 0.8% demographic to blame. How did I miss this?

This is cartoonishly shitty to be saying on tv. Especially when the shooter is unknown! I couldn’t write parody as good as this. What a c.u.n.t. Genuinely.

The Kirk news is obviously tragic.

But if I had lost a loved one to gun violence and heard someone repeatedly say that gun deaths were an acceptable price to pay to ensure others could own guns, I’d certainly struggle with it.

I can see why someone might lash out against him.

I watched Hugh Grant in ‘Heretic’ on Amazon last night. He’s wicked. Such a cracking actor. Young or old, he’s great.