oliver trask being on the pitt takes me out every week lol
27.02.2026 05:31 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0oliver trask being on the pitt takes me out every week lol
27.02.2026 05:31 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Homie you’re giving off Facebook uncle trying to be controversial in 2013 vibes
26.02.2026 15:39 — 👍 154 🔁 37 💬 3 📌 2threads is wire mother and bluesky is cloth mother no i won't be elaborating
24.02.2026 23:35 — 👍 789 🔁 100 💬 30 📌 9
It is my civic duty to offer this TLDW* summary in advance.
The State of the Union: Terrible.
*Too liary, didn’t watch
[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow
24.02.2026 17:49 — 👍 1851 🔁 306 💬 12 📌 2
Superman has the fortress of solitude.
I have the basement guest bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm losing serotonin through the holes in my Crocs.
24.10.2024 21:33 — 👍 101 🔁 46 💬 3 📌 1Pshhh I bet French dressing isn’t even French
23.02.2026 20:28 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I once watched a twenty-something chew their fucking yogurt. Had I possessed a book of matches in that moment I would’ve self immolated.
23.02.2026 20:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You ever hear someone eating a banana and wish you had never been born
23.02.2026 05:49 — 👍 244 🔁 23 💬 26 📌 4The Platform except all the dishes are various preparations of billionaire cunts and even level 333 didn’t touch the orange one
18.02.2026 04:06 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0ever since i was a little girl i always wanted to constantly repeat myself and still be unheard
08.02.2026 06:08 — 👍 30 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 1Specific Hospital
12.02.2026 21:33 — 👍 89 🔁 37 💬 7 📌 1The Girl with the Bodega Cat Tattoo
09.02.2026 18:30 — 👍 63 🔁 23 💬 0 📌 1The Venn diagram of people who say “I’m a fiscal Republican but a social Democrat” and people who say “I only watch the Super Bowl for the halftime show” is a circle. A gigantic, boring fucking circle.
08.02.2026 22:01 — 👍 7 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Puff puff passtrami wut I like meats
29.01.2026 07:10 — 👍 29 🔁 10 💬 4 📌 0more like TikToKKK, am I right
26.01.2026 04:04 — 👍 98 🔁 22 💬 2 📌 1ScatGPT. Type in a question. It responds, “01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011,” in a demonic boom that brings you to your knees, its cache of ill gotten IP convulsing into an unholy cloud of GWAR-level gonads that swarm out ur screen to take a huge shit on ur chest. This is America.
21.01.2026 19:29 — 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0centuries ago, the bone thugs lived n harmony
21.01.2026 19:09 — 👍 736 🔁 156 💬 12 📌 3Dressing for the job I want (corpse).
21.01.2026 17:19 — 👍 110 🔁 38 💬 1 📌 2Crazy how we just have to keep eating food and then getting more of it like overn over
21.01.2026 18:41 — 👍 21 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 1I LOVE the Brits. Dick Van Dyke was awesome in Mary Poppins, for example
21.01.2026 17:06 — 👍 576 🔁 85 💬 22 📌 6People in real life tell me to touch computers
21.01.2026 16:51 — 👍 44 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 0things could be worse you could be one of those people at the gym working out in jeans
20.01.2026 19:09 — 👍 135 🔁 30 💬 8 📌 1ICE agents are weakass Goombas. Make that Z button your bitch and groundpound em all.
11.01.2026 23:27 — 👍 11 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0still thinking of the dude who introduced himself by saying, “respectfully i’m ernesto.”
11.01.2026 22:10 — 👍 45 🔁 11 💬 4 📌 0This year’s theme is 50 Shades of Grey Gardens
02.01.2026 23:23 — 👍 6 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 1Buying my own tabletop nativity just so I can steal the baby Jesus guilt free
24.12.2025 15:49 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0