Fucking is the least of it. Imagining a gakked out tweaker doing a full-nude booty scoot across orange and burgundy, low-pile contemporary carpeting is really what this skeet is about…
06.03.2026 16:35 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Fucking is the least of it. Imagining a gakked out tweaker doing a full-nude booty scoot across orange and burgundy, low-pile contemporary carpeting is really what this skeet is about…
06.03.2026 16:35 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Tan and white potato (dog) looking super suss while my hand holds her collar so that her name is visible. Her name is Julie Cooper. Yes, like that Julie Cooper. We have yet to get her into yogilates—until then, she shall remain chonk AF.
OC references in the wild help me find my people. Meet our dog, Julie Cooper.
06.03.2026 14:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The layer of human DNA on every motel surface is just vibe coating
06.03.2026 14:22 — 👍 8 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0If you played Fleetwood Mac for Shakespeare he would die
06.03.2026 13:45 — 👍 42 🔁 5 💬 5 📌 1Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?
05.03.2026 23:02 — 👍 609 🔁 75 💬 30 📌 12YES.
05.03.2026 17:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0oliver trask being on the pitt takes me out every week lol
27.02.2026 05:31 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0Homie you’re giving off Facebook uncle trying to be controversial in 2013 vibes
26.02.2026 15:39 — 👍 161 🔁 38 💬 3 📌 2threads is wire mother and bluesky is cloth mother no i won't be elaborating
24.02.2026 23:35 — 👍 819 🔁 104 💬 32 📌 11
It is my civic duty to offer this TLDW* summary in advance.
The State of the Union: Terrible.
*Too liary, didn’t watch
[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow
24.02.2026 17:49 — 👍 1856 🔁 308 💬 12 📌 2
Superman has the fortress of solitude.
I have the basement guest bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm losing serotonin through the holes in my Crocs.
24.10.2024 21:33 — 👍 101 🔁 46 💬 3 📌 1Pshhh I bet French dressing isn’t even French
23.02.2026 20:28 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I once watched a twenty-something chew their fucking yogurt. Had I possessed a book of matches in that moment I would’ve self immolated.
23.02.2026 20:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You ever hear someone eating a banana and wish you had never been born
23.02.2026 05:49 — 👍 246 🔁 24 💬 26 📌 4The Platform except all the dishes are various preparations of billionaire cunts and even level 333 didn’t touch the orange one
18.02.2026 04:06 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0ever since i was a little girl i always wanted to constantly repeat myself and still be unheard
08.02.2026 06:08 — 👍 30 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 1Specific Hospital
12.02.2026 21:33 — 👍 89 🔁 37 💬 7 📌 1The Girl with the Bodega Cat Tattoo
09.02.2026 18:30 — 👍 64 🔁 24 💬 0 📌 1The Venn diagram of people who say “I’m a fiscal Republican but a social Democrat” and people who say “I only watch the Super Bowl for the halftime show” is a circle. A gigantic, boring fucking circle.
08.02.2026 22:01 — 👍 7 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Puff puff passtrami wut I like meats
29.01.2026 07:10 — 👍 29 🔁 10 💬 4 📌 0more like TikToKKK, am I right
26.01.2026 04:04 — 👍 98 🔁 22 💬 2 📌 1ScatGPT. Type in a question. It responds, “01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011,” in a demonic boom that brings you to your knees, its cache of ill gotten IP convulsing into an unholy cloud of GWAR-level gonads that swarm out ur screen to take a huge shit on ur chest. This is America.
21.01.2026 19:29 — 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0centuries ago, the bone thugs lived n harmony
21.01.2026 19:09 — 👍 735 🔁 156 💬 11 📌 3Dressing for the job I want (corpse).
21.01.2026 17:19 — 👍 110 🔁 38 💬 1 📌 2Crazy how we just have to keep eating food and then getting more of it like overn over
21.01.2026 18:41 — 👍 21 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 1I LOVE the Brits. Dick Van Dyke was awesome in Mary Poppins, for example
21.01.2026 17:06 — 👍 576 🔁 85 💬 22 📌 6People in real life tell me to touch computers
21.01.2026 16:51 — 👍 44 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 0