yoey buckets

I’m not having a celebration of life when I die. I’m throwing a FUN-eral

elephant ears will be served

listening to old music is wild ride

they’ll go from singing about a banana split to a 3:14 song about wanting to punch a woman

a man in a suit and tie is standing next to a woman holding a trophy and says my wiilife !!! ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing next to a woman holding a trophy and says my wiilife !!!

I meant to type

The mystery of life is actually figuring out when you died and when hell began lmao

Dark blue darrrk blue
Have you
Ever pissed your pants in a crowded room

I cut my nails like I’m going for the Olympic record

Do you want another?

I read that being sedentary for more than 6 hours at a time is bad for you which is why I never sleep more than 6 hours

Did you eat it

my financée and i have authorized credit cards not because we trust each other, but because we believe in mutually assured destruction

I don’t think I have adhd. I think god just pulls little tricks on me 24/7

“I
Went to high school
Didn’t do great ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
is a wild line for a commercial

I think I once was mildly rude to a magic wielder and they cursed me to have automatic soap dispensers not work half the time

When the pope dies, do they change the cross to an uppercase T?

patrick star from spongebob holds a broom in his hands ALT: patrick star from spongebob holds a broom in his hands

Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town?

Moshing is just aggressive conga

Is buddy gender neutral? I think it is but I never hear women use it

Idk why a street fight sounds so much different than a regular fight

I wonder if this ramen is good. I’ve never had it because I’m afraid to buy it

i wish they made decaf cigarettes

We Are In Trouble

You should be sorry for party rocking. Don’t let it happen again

Because they’re so good

I love going to the dentist. Where else can you feel your teeth’s heartbeat and taste pennies without going to the bank?

I wish I could go tell my younger self that he would indeed be allowed to chop light switches on and off in his own home

YEAH I DILATE THAT PUSSY

I don’t try to answer any question whether I know it or not because I’m a man, I do it because years of standardized testing taught me I won’t be penalized for wrong answers. Gotta get that partial credit 😤😤

I just don’t think it’s real

"I don't accept the existence of Deal or No Deal Island" - @yoeybuckets.bsky.social

a girl in a school uniform sits in a train car ALT: a girl in a school uniform sits in a train car

Me listening to Japanese city pop while on the train so it feels like an anime ending