Lovette 🏳️‍🌈

I know some people are arriving at 14:00 and some are coming for the last panels and my talk you don’t have to be there at 12 on the dot I would love to see you! 🫶🏾

There are panels and talks throughout the day. But I am on the latter end around 17:00 🫶🏾

The Rose Garden The Eden Rose Project Presents: The Rose Garden, an event curated to help SEND families nurture and bloom.

This is for autistic adults seeking community, tired parents, rarely-centered siblings, and supporters who show up IRL.

Tickets: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-rose-g...

#AutismCommunity #Neurodiversity

Pink background with rose image header reading “The Rose Garden 2026.” Text outlines full day event including industry professionals panel on support systems, parents panel on family adaptation, siblings panel on underrepresented perspectives, special guests and refreshments. Venue: The Arding Rooms Private Members Club, Clapham Junction, 12pm-6pm.

Split image showing a Black woman with natural hair among roses and a young Black girl in green school uniform smiling. Pink background with text: “London | 7 March 2026. Belonging. Autistic childhood. What support actually looks like. The Rose Garden. Lovette Jallow in conversation with Eden-Rose. 12pm-6pm | Clapham Junction.”

Pink background featuring a Black woman with natural hair among red roses. Text describes event on Saturday 7 March 2026 exploring belonging, autistic childhood, loneliness, and practical consistent support. Lists conversation topics including family adaptation, safety for autistic kids, misunderstandings about autistic needs, and personal perspective as autistic adult.

The day includes:
• Industry professionals panel
• Parents panel
• Siblings panel
• Special guests & refreshments
• Time to genuinely connect
I’ll be in conversation with Eden-Rose on autistic childhood, belonging, loneliness & what consistent support actually looks like.

Pink and green geometric design with pink roses. Text reads: “The Eden-Rose Project presents The Rose Garden 2026. Panels with industry professionals, siblings panel, parents panel, raffle, special guests, refreshments. Saturday 7th March 2026, The Arding Rooms Private Members Club, Clapham Junction, 12pm-6pm.

London: craving offline autism community? I’m the special guest at The Rose Garden 2026 by theedenroseproject a sensory considerate day for autistic adults, parents, siblings, carers, educators & advocates.

📍 Arding Rooms, Clapham Junction
📅 Sat 7 March, 12-6pm

Read more 1/3⤵️

"People misread our joy, our discomfort, our boundaries, then demand our children perform 'clear communication' on command." @lovettejallow.bsky.social describes the specific pressures on Black non-speaking autistic children and their families. #autism #BlackAndAutistic #neurodiversity

What Precolonial Africa Can Teach Us About Nonspeaking Autism and Belonging What can precolonial Africa teach us about nonspeaking autism, belonging, and communication beyond speech in Black families and the diaspora? By Lovette Jallow Author lecturer and researcher.

Precolonial African communication systems show an ethic of becoming fluent: observation, apprenticeship, proximity, gesture. Speech was one channel, never the gatekeeper of belonging. The modern panic about silence is produced by power/surveillance. Essay on Substack.

Black nonverbal communication is dense: looks, silence, timing, posture, proximity. Yet institutions that misread Black affect still demand our children be readable on command, then call compliance “support.” Diaspora families get pressured to trade interpretation for training.

“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance.

#autism #nonspeaking

How to Reconnect With an Ex When You've Actually Healed What happens when you reconnect after healing: anxious-avoidant cycles, secure attachment, and why disabled Black women pay extra. By Lovette Jallow.

Post 3/3:
One of the biggest costs I’ve seen, is missing curiosity. When someone refuses self-examination so your discomfort becomes their problem to manage, and your reality gets reframed until you question what you witnessed.
From my essay:

open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Post 2/3: That pattern doesn’t disappear in adulthood, even after you’ve “done the work”, especially if you’re autistic or ADHD with layered processing. You remember every detail, struggle to name what it meant, doubt if it counts as harm, then feel the truth land days later.
#SecureAttachment

If calm love feels suspicious, your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do.
Many of us learned “connection” through emotional turbulence. The nervous system adapts fast, it starts reading intensity as closeness, chaos as care, and steadiness as the moment before something breaks.

Post 1/3:

Neurodivergent white people: You're positioned as white first, raised in systems embedding racism before neurodivergence even registers. The work? Unpack that daily. Notice how it shapes how you approach Black + Brown ND folks. Centering your neurodivergence without racial accountability just recreates the same extractive dynamics. Who's doing this work consistently? And what onTok Lite pattern you've had to unlearn Lovette Jallow

We see it when white people claim 'I'm just autistic' to excuse cruelty, bias, or aggression. The same distancing logic applies: 'I can't be responsible for this harm because I'm not capable of understanding it the way you do.' Lovette Jallow

Home is not a person who watches us collapse and calls it resilience. Home is someone who sees our regulation as a priority. Who knows that overstimulation, shutdowns, and silence aren't signs of failure-but of presence. That we are still here, even when we retreat. That we are still loving, even when we fall quiet. Lovette Jallow

🗣🗣🗣
By @lovettejallow.bsky.social #audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #adud #wtpeople

Slide 1 of Lovette Jallow’s carousel with artwork by Alabi Mayowa (@shuta.bug). Text reads: “Why People Promise and Don’t Deliver. The promise feels good immediately. The follow-through feels boring later.” Explains dopamine-driven generosity, false accountability, and social reputation behaviors.

Educational slide by Lovette Jallow with illustration by Alabi Mayowa (@shuta.bug). Explains how people use promises for reputation management: offering gestures for validation, then disappearing. Highlights dopamine reward, false generosity, and how silence protects social image over accountability.

Blue-and-cream slide by Lovette Jallow with artwork by Alabi Mayowa (@shuta.bug). Explains how ADHD disrupts follow-through via time blindness and overwhelm but doesn’t excuse silence. Includes repair scripts: “I dropped it. I’m sorry. I can do it by Friday, or we close it.” Teaches that repair is behavior, not personality.

Orange-toned artwork by Alabi Mayowa (@shuta.bug). Lovette Jallow explains that autistic people experience promises as logic structures: “Words become planning. Planning becomes safety.” When promises collapse, the brain recalibrates meaning and safety. Quote: “Broken promises destabilize the logic layer.”

Why do people make promises they don’t keep, then keep interacting like nothing happened? That silence is the second breach. This essay breaks down dopamine, image, and cost transfer, with autistic and ADHD context.

Link: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Why People Make Promises They Don't Keep | Lovette Jallow On broken promises, false generosity, extraction & why continued interaction without repair damages trust. Why ADHD doesn't excuse silence. By Lovette Jallow.

Have you ever had someone promise you something, disappear, then return like it was nothing?

I wrote about broken promises, silence, and why “good intentions” mean nothing without repair. #Autism #ADHD #accountability.

Read here: 👇🏾

a cartoon of alice from alice in wonderland with the words you 're welcome ALT: a cartoon of alice from alice in wonderland with the words you 're welcome

2/ No curves.
No confusing design choices.

It’s matte black. It’s built like a power tool. It does exactly 1 thing: gets the gunk out.

And for those who need a gentle reward at the end, it leaves a confusingly pleasant floral scent.

a cartoon opossum says " you 're welcome " while giving a peace sign ALT: a cartoon opossum says " you 're welcome " while giving a peace sign

🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨
Introducing my next patented design:
the Butthole Washer™, engineered for MEN who want to be clean while needing reassurance that cleanliness can still look serious & not make anything gheyy or weird.

Yes, it’s black & aggressively industrial.

1/2⤵️

a man in a suit and tie is smiling while sitting in a crowd . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smiling while sitting in a crowd .

4/4 P.S.📌 This is advocacy. MENtal health

Because imagine it’s 3 a.m., you flush, & cold toilet water hits your balls. That is not wellness. That is trauma.

No one can ever accuse me of misandry again. Look at me, innovating for your sacks. Caring. Protecting the jewels so you can poop in peace.

a frog holding a sign that says deez nuts here i made you a sign ALT: a frog holding a sign that says deez nuts here i made you a sign

3/4 Just secure support while you focus on pushing the dookie out.
this is innovation.
This is public service.
This is the product I needed the moment I learned too much about male anatomy.

For one year I carried this burden.
Now I release it to the world.

You’re welcome.

a woman in a car with the words wow modern invention ALT: a woman in a car with the words wow modern invention

2/4 So naturally, I did what any sane person would do.

I INVENTED A SOLUTION.

Introducing my patented idea a toilet sack holder for men & sack-havers who sit down to poop.

It gently cradles the jewels so nothing dangles into the abyss.

No accidental baptisms.
No existential dread.

a man in a suit says let me finish the pitch in yellow letters ALT: a man in a suit says let me finish the pitch in yellow letters

🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨
It has officially been 12 months since I discovered that when men sit on the toilet… their junk just hangs in the bowl.

Since that day, I have not known peace.

I have lived with questions.
I stared into the middle distance.
I whispered, “Why would God design it like this?”

1/4⤵️

You are not a monster and you are not alone! The performance is exhausting because are we too enthusiastic or not enough or did we mix the two up to the gift giver.

Do we get gifts so we can be watched. It’s a lot and am staying home!

2/ Truly, how difficult is it to wrap money and hand it to me? Or better yet, take me to the Maldives. That is when the facial expression activates, let us be honest.

I don’t hate gifts I hate the expectation on me to perform facial expressions.

#autism

Autistics, gather round. Are we all rehearsing our gift-opening faces, or coordinating plausible excuses for why we suddenly cannot attend?

Personally, I am considering faking an eye infection. I will provide written feedback once I am home and have opened the gift in private. #autism
1/2⤵️

I read it that way 🤭 and I agree with you young neurodivergent girls are often missed unfortunately. 🫶🏾🩷

Individual experiences matter, and they do not override patterns that show up across generations, cultures & systems.

One family doing relatively well does not negate the very real harm many autistic daughters experienced, esp. in contexts shaped by religion, race, & lack of diagnosis. 1/4⤵️

Why Autistic Daughters Often Go No-Contact with Their Mothers Too many autistic daughters are cast as difficult when they were simply trying to survive unsafe mothers. Lovette Jallow explored parentification, survival roles, and the journey toward self-rescue.

"As I once calmly explained to a parent: Your child did not download autism from the cloud." @lovettejallow.bsky.social, on inherited autism and trauma, especially between mothers and daughter:

lovettejallow.substack.com/p/autistic-d... #autism #neurodiversity #autistic