Sir Piers-Alexander Birtwistle

Could anyone have seen this coming, Ian? I doubt it. L

War Diary Day 41: This is marvellous. The troops here have been working on plans for what they describe as a 'Pebble Dashing Machine' which I'm told will unleash the private sector to erect semis right across the nation as we rebuild after the war. Slava Ukraini!

War Diary Day 29: I tried putting up a few flags to spruce the cave up a bit. Bring in a bit of colour. My suggestion was politely declined. They are correct, of course: there will be time for flags when we've beaten Putin all the way back to the Arctic Circle 💪🇺🇦

War Diary Day 28: In warfare, it is vital that we understand supply chains and logistics. So I seized this wonderful opportunity today to speak to these enraptured young Ukrainian soldiers about lock gates on the British canal system ✊🏻🇺🇦

War Diary Day 27: I am not afraid of Putin's threats against me. As long as I am alive, there will be no rest for the enemies of Ukraine. I shall continue my mission against them.

War Diary Day 26: Terrorising Putin, while he is carrying arms on our land, is a morally demanding duty. His problem will be how to convince his troops to fight, while our problem will be how to restrain our youths to wait for their turn in fighting and in operations.

War Diary Day 25: After a ferry back to the mainland and several days of trekking and hitchhiking, I have joined up with a group who refer to themselves as 'The Resistance'. They have made me feel very welcome indeed! Time to kick Putin all the way back to Moscow ✊🏻🇺🇦

War Diary 10: As we must work hard, so we must play hard. There are opportunities for joy everywhere in Ukraine, and we find ourselves with a chance to relax deep behind enemy lines, near Mariupol. We must enjoy it while we can: tomorrow, a ferry. Crimea awaits.

War Diary Day 9*: It's clear that the people of Pokrovsk are strong and resilient, and I cannot help them further. So southwards I turn - in search of the Crimea. Another day, another bus. I shall report back tomorrow from the coast.

*I mistook the diary for a video blog here

War Diary Day 8: The news from America is hard to stomach. Gathered around a wireless radio in Pokrovsk, the people react glumly to reports of a breakdown in relations in Washington. They know they have only one hope now, and it's the word on everyone's lips: Starmer.

War Diary Day 6: The resilience of the people of Ukraine is remarkable. It is like they are not at war at all. Here's a fun snap of the locals warmly welcoming me. I'll leave this diary entry with two simple words: Vladimir Putin - You are fired!!!

War Diary Day 5: Pokrovsk. Eastern Ukraine. It is quiet here. Eerily quiet. The people seem undisturbed by their place so near to Russian guns, carrying out their everyday business with admirable dignity. In my bag, a care package from home. A fine ale braces the spirits for war.

War Diary Day 4: It is a long and weary journey from Kiev to the battlegrounds of Donetsk. But with a thermos for company, anything can be overcome. The people with me are stern but optimistic: they tell me they expect to be in Georgia within hours! A great running joke.

Wow, great. Did you write this yourself Peter?

Good evening Peter. Thanks again for letting me stay in the flat.

To my fellow 'First Edition Freaks': what books are top of your lists of rare finds you'd love to get your hands on?

For me it's got to be the one, the only, the incomparable, "Some Day I'll Find You" by Richard Madeley. Terrific.

It's the Richard Branson/Tim Martin joint venture we've all been waiting for. And the tip of the spear for the brand, completing the mighty Ruddles triumvirate:

Ruddles Best
Ruddles County
Ruddles Infinity

It's clear to me that an AI that could drink Ruddles would change the world overnight.

Over. Night.

New technology is always a hot topic. What are some of the interesting new Ruddle Techs that you've seen coming through? In 10 years' time will AI be drinking Ruddles?

Ah yes, that's the ticket. Did something waylay you while you were out there then?

Hello @petermarsh.bsky.social, where the devil have you been??? Didn't something odd happen to you? I forget.

Carol Vorderman

Hmm yes, that's something to factor in of course.

It's all very well to ask why Savile, for example, was not prosecuted. But be serious - how can you expect to expand your voter-base if you imprison everyone outside of it?

Ruddle me this.

Have any other Ruddlers made their way over from Witter to here? Leave a little Ruddle below to let me know! 👇

Thangam Debbonaire is Britain's first emo MP, and this diversity is something which we should be *extremely* proud of.

I'm all ears for where else I should be getting my daily gas from.

I told you they would be fine to use as gas pipes, and I was right.

Well spoken. Honest. Respectable.

And dare I say... cool?

Is Ted Cruz the US answer to Keir Starmer?