John Skonieczny

INSANE MICHELIN CHEF GUY: In the past, I have perhaps been a bit hard on my employees and I apologize.

REPORTER: A former line cook says you rented a bulldozer and drove it into his house while screaming "this is how subtly you're placing parsley motherfucker"

CHEF: i now realize that was wrong

If you can just get them to open the clown lounge at 5:00 even without a show that would be an incredible use of the office.

The most hungover pre-cancellation Har Mar DJ'd one and it went about as well as you think

Quite obviously not the point but if white folks wanted a homeland untouched by other civilizations maybe they shouldn't have tried to colonize the other 80% of the planet.

worst day of the year. hour stolen from night time given to the smug idiot breakfast eaters. the rise and shine clowns

Some time in the '90s the GOP realized that both "read!" and "vote!" were partisan Democratic positions masquerading as general civic engagement, and that was the end of that

What the fuck is this?

Collecting my child's ravaged corpse from a crater

It was a mistake on their computer actually. The missile. AI they said. Yeah the computer messed up somehow. So all in all just one of those things. Time to move on.

usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”

One of the lessons of the Iran war is that it was a huge mistake not to even try to put any of the Iraq war architects in prison. We shouldn’t make it again.

I saw that the women's big ten player of the year was from traditional power UCLA so I'm right there with you.

When you get together with the boys for some, hehehe, “Southern Cone Activities”

✅Not a transphobe
✅Doesn’t destroy street encampments with his own hands for online clout
✅Doesn’t openly seek common ground with fascist podcasters
✅Doesn’t have Nazi tattoos
✅Able to call out genocide

This is a low bar. Real basic shit. If you can’t clear it, we don’t have a lot to talk about.

While I appreciate this tariff thing. Costco, start stocking High Life, please.

i think hearing about famous people or athletes being charged with things is actually a good time to practice reminding ourselves that cops lie all the time and charges ≠ guilt

Bill Clinton spoke at Jesse Jackson's funeral? Goddamn. Gennifer Flowers better speak at his.

Thought this said unkillable and, honestly, both.

Unless he's saying Michael Dyer was down against the Ducks in the title game he's not fixing shit.

No one can beat Keenan's/620

Gene and Jude's is the move. Wrap the fries with the dog.

So i understand (though disagree w) local PD refusing to intervene w ICE. But now that we have bounty hunters doing ice work, what is their legal standing when they brandish guns or run red lights, etc? Have officials commented on this change?

Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck. Depression Dog is the superior Chicago style. No one needs the tomatoes, pickles, or celery salt.

damn, if the Childcrusher 5000 GTX pickup truck owners can’t afford gas, how are they going to be able to tote their massive loads of a single loaf of bread and a canned Starbucks latte

[star power up music starts blasting]

The New York Times Slurs Filled a Chat Created by a Republican Party Official in Florida After the secretary of the Miami-Dade County Republican Party created the chat for college students, it devolved into slurs against Black and Jewish people.

Slurs spoke themselves unto the mouths of young GOP members again! I just hope that they're all OK!🤡

Slurs emitted themselves fully formed, from the fingertips of innocent far-right people! That must have been terrifying for them! 🤡

Pray for those that survived spontaneous chat room devolution! 🤡

People Are Calling Meta Ray-Bans "Pervert Glasses" On Bluesky, users quickly embraced the term "pervert glasses" to refer to Meta's Ray Ban smart glasses, following a shocking investigation.

Make it stick.

If you want to know what Joe Rogan’s going to think in a few episodes, keep your ear to the ground for whatever the online right is trying to make stick. They’re calling him the world’s most susceptible person to propaganda.

Albini Sessions (Benefit for Letters Charity), by Fugazi 12 track album

The bootlegs have been around since forever, but for charity Dischord is releasing all the Albini demos for In on the Kill Taker, feat. the best version of Smallpox Champion known to man