𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐄. 🎺

HAPPY FRIDAY, NEW YORK!!!

TODAY IS A BRIGHT, AND LOVELY DAY, MINUS THE COLD. MAKE SURE YOU ALL KEEP YOUR BEANIES ON TODAY, AND DRESS FOR THE OCCASION!

REMEMBER: IF ANY WALL-CRAWLING MENACES NAMED SPIDER-MAN ASK YOU FOR A SCARF, OR A HOT COFFEE...

SAY NO!!!

HE BELONGS ON THE STREETS!!!!

❝ Oh! The Daily Bugle is back, how—... Ah—❞

AW WHAT THE HELL.

......................

And do we really need to spin a story about Spider-Man every day? Give Peter a break. He's been taking the same photos since he was 16, Jonah.

Let's cover new things!

Jonah, we really shouldn't be posting such sensationalist news. We need readers, yes- but being extremist isn't the way of going about it.

There are real stories out there. Just look at Urich's desk.

Reel it in.

// Jameson: This won’t come back to haunt me probably

“ Hey I might be yer eyes in the sky but I ain't no Hater. . .

Has anyone ever told you your mustache looks like Hit--”

-- Gets Fired --

“ Well shiet. ”

I PLEAD THE FOURTH!!! OR THE FIFTH. THE SIXTH AND THE SEVENTH!!!

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!!!

#RELEASE(Osborn)FILES!

............................

“ WHOAAAAAA HEY HOLD ON A SECOND WHAT WAS THAT LAST COMMENT THERE!?! ”

UHHH...

NEXT QUESTION!

Wow. That sure is a huge plot twist than any of M. Night Shamalan's movies.

” Hi Ma! Oh wait she's dead ..also how Am I talkin' through a newspaper?

Anyway! Clear skies from Chopper 616 JJ! Now back t' ya in the studio ”

{ I guess this is a thing now? Sure! Lmao }

A BUNCH OF BALONEY.

BALONEY, I TELL YA.

MAC GARGAN DID IT TO HIMSELF!!!

AS FOR THE SPIDER-SLAYERS, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM- BUT I MUST SAY, THEY'RE DOING A FINE JOB!

KEEP THE ARACHNIDS OUT OF NEW YORK!!!

GO BACK HOME TO SPACE WHERE YOU BELONG!

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR EYE IN THE SKY: @gwenpool-in-blue.bsky.social FOR SHARING WITH US THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR THE READERS AT HOME?

NONE OTHER THAN THE NOTORIOUS RACIST, SPIDER-MAN!!!

MAYOR FISK, YOU MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT SPIDER-MAN BUT YOU SURE WEREN'T ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY.

I'LL BE RESCINDING MY PRESIDENTIAL VOTE AS SOON AS I LEARN HOW TO TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK!!!

BREAKING NEWS:

THE OSBORN FILES.

WHAT THE HELL.

FORMER CEO AND FOUNDER OF OSCORP, NORMAN OSBORN, RECENTLY DECEASED, LEAKED SECRET FILES OF ALL HIS INNER DEALINGS WITH CRIMINALS, CONSPIRATORS AND ALL AROUND BAD NOODLES.

THIS LIST INCLUDES THE LIKES OF: MAYOR WILSON FISK, HERMAN SCHULTZ, AND

I'LL KILL YOU, MICHAEL MOUSE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN EARTH!!!

OVER MY DEAD, PILL-LADEN, MONEY-GRUBBING BODY!

HEY WHAT THE FUCK?

{Casually Leaks Names of several illegal involvements regarding the Fisk foundation to the Bugle mid interview}

( @dailybuglenews.bsky.social )

breaking news:

Fuck

Wears a #VoteFisk2026 jacket, courtesy from @henchmansarcasm.bsky.social.

BREAKING NEWS: FORMER TERRORIST, FELICIA HARDY DEFENDS ARACHNID-MENACE-RACIST, SPIDER-MAN.

YOU CAN TELL WE'VE BEEN OUT OF THE GAME FOR A WHILE... GAHAHA-

(LEEDS, YOU'RE FIRED!!!)

... HAHAHA.

@newyorksmayor.bsky.social

DO YOU HAVE A MESSAGE FOR OUR ADORING READERS?

#Queekisms

Kas you do know that by reviving that account you’ve basically started a forever war with me right?

It’s a principles thing.
Even if I am retired.