gee, I hope it doesn’t get infected

when you glance at your phone and your feed conspires to haunt you

finally, a perfect way to screen Taxi Driver and Behind the Green Door

I was a kid sitting in field level seats at Shea and saw him throw Pete Rose out at third on absolute frozen rope from RF. Incredible thrill for a young Mets fan and Pete Rose hater. Had high hopes for Ellis but he just never looked comfortable in the box after his beaning.

“Is it just me or does this coke smell a little off?”

When is Jack Smith giving testimony?
Oh right

drip by chlamydia

“It is happening again.”

would watch

“They glared at her the way any intelligent persons ought to glare when what they need is a smoke, a bite, a cup of coffee, a piece of ass, or a good fast-paced story, and all they're getting is philosophy.”

- Tom Robbins, “Still Life with Woodpecker”

Epstein & Jackson

a little too on what’s left of the nose

rfk jr & cheryl hines

real late stage Arthur Shelby and Linda vibes

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs.”

“I am NOT sitting in any fucking merlot!!”

“I still got it*”

*alcoholism

Half in the beanbag

today’s affirmation: I am within the acceptable range of deviation. I am a perfectly roasted quail. if I was a car the mechanics would find nothing weird or rodent related in my air filter. I am upright. There are no stones or excess debris in my shoes. I still have all my bones.

This movie wrecked me

fitted sheet with a tag that reads TOP OR BOTTOM

Calm down, sheets. We just met

Have you written out the date lately? Like on a check or a journal or any number of other things that nobody ever does anymore… and gotten past the day and the month, or the month and day in your freak country… and been like… 25?!! the fuck?!! are you serious?!! it’s 2004 you lying liar bastard!!!

Millie Bonnie Bongiovi
Started taking Wegovy
While she did slim down
Now her underwear’s brown
A sort of maiden name trophy

… yet.

follow my lead

at this point my phone is well into gluttony

Fantastic

like something out of the Penthouse porn review thesaurus

the filthiest phrase ever conjured from two independently benign nouns

gynecologist gave me a scripp I should be good to go in a couple weeks

‘Listen to the Music’ ❤️🙏😍