rstevens 🐳💨

gasp

we should have stopped technology with the ipod nano. we could handle the ipod nano.

this was some of desmond’s finest work (RIP)

it’s the only way

that’s a stretch

i think there’s an opening for a guy with a goatee who wears three neckties while knitting

have you considered purchasing some ill-fitting suits and conquering the mans-o-sphere

Corey and the Gnome would be a great title for their buddy comedy if this planet was still funny

wait, i thought YOU were the mayor? is this an orphan black thing

finally, a guitar i understand!!

tired: raw milk

wired: lead paint

boy DID I

LIQUID SWORDS

but but but darth plagueis

i’m kennermaxing

now up to four milk crates and a yoda action figure

you’re a true dogmanitarian

you’ve been a proponent of truck power for so long, you deserve this

oh hey has anyone noticed anything weird since that meteor shower last night? the dead walking the earth again, stuff like that?

i filtered all the microplastics out of my blood and now i have three artisanal milk crates

Local politics is easy. You just keep a mental list of all the assholes on your commute, and you vote against their yard signs.

they’ll never take Mel’s Hole from us

that’s how i strap down my hot dogs to make them bike safe. amazing stuff!!

fuck me, i’ve become the kind of person who answers the phone

good luck, buckaroo

Hypersauce???

alec baldwin somewhat manically hugging a person in a snoopy suit

What a Garfield, huh?

Lemon, it’s Snoopy

listen, he’s trapped in a world he never made

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a Calvin peeling on the Tesla logo - forever