Melissa. Just Melissa.

Why were they on tv?

I would love to have one single day in which I experience zero gut-wrenching fear. Never had one, not sure I'll ever get one. Terror is my defining characteristic.

All of which is to say: If I disappear from this platform again, it will be because my life is already one big doomscroll.

This is not as funny as my overtaxed brain is making it!

I always think of this:
bsky.app/profile/thef...

...I can do none of that. I'm privileged in many ways, but I'm also barely scraping by. Nothing crushes my spirit faster than a guilt trip about not giving money I don't have. I can't imagine I'm alone in that.

Gentle reminder that if your stock answer to every societal problem is "throw money at it," then you're telling an entire swath of people that we can't be part of the solution. I'm supposed to be donating to independent journalists, women's sports, LGBT+ organizations, legal aid for immigrants...

I have many follow-up questions, but we're all just so tired already.

You mean, like, planes from JFK to DFW?

writing a song for every single bird species: Gambel’s Quail edition…

I decided a while back that I would never again generate so much as one character worth of content for Elon, and I have not for a moment regretted that choice.

To the owner of the white Tesla with California vanity plate “TESLUT” circle back for a minute I just wanna talk

I honestly don't remember. In my defense, it was 12 years ago.

Carchidi also expressed delight at the ice girls' return. Proud moment for Philly hockey media.

I haven't laughed this hard in days. Thank you.

Frank has been the same guy for a loooooooong time.

My hot take: It's good, actually, that we're talking about the descent of our nation into fascism instead of talking about hockey. Sport provides too much cover for too many horrible things. It needs to be punctured, and punctured often.

I made the mistake of checking the Devils' IG and it's not nearly as uplifting.🫩

I bet PKane is gutted that he didn't get to crush a brew with Kash Patel and exchange tricks of the trade with Trump.

I'm missing the reference and it's going to haunt me.

I know I said I hope she kicks her sons' asses, and I do!, but this seems like a good time for a reminder that Ellen Weinberg-Hughes is not responsible for the actions of her grown offspring. We all need to fight the reflex to look for a woman to blame for the bad behavior of men.

I'd inconvenience them for the opposite purpose though.

Don't waste your talents on stupid men who don't want to be saved.

Actually, I might have accepted that explanation.

Also correct.

I feel like Canada is angry enough at Trump that it might generate a couple minutes of tough questions. I could be wrong.

That is correct.

Seravalli is, and always has been, a PoS.

I'm sure they'll hound him every bit as hard as they did after he terrorized a woman in a parking garage, which is to say very hard for a couple days, then they'll get bored.

Thank you!

Lmao like this is Earth 1