slate

stick figure with phone laying on bed with feet in the air

trump asking zohran about universal free childcare

Mamdani put Trump in a better mood than he’s been in for weeks

only concerning thing here is that this guy doesn’t know where santa lives

kinda concerning if anyone is specifically threatened by this

screenshot from ABC7 post that reads “A disturbing delivery has residents in one Yucaipa neighborhood on edge, and police are working to find out who sent the missives. “Residents said the letters were Christmas cards but contained messages they described as vulgar, menacing and, at times, threatening. “ "Picked it up, opened it, and it said, 'Dear Santa, I want the head of a Nazi under my tree for Christmas.'" “ i under text is a picture of one of the letters saying “i want the head of a nazi under my tree”

ok but i didn’t know we could ask for that

if we keep side jumping we just might win this

we are not even a quarter way through this boss fight

any historian able to tell me what stage of democracy it is in when the leader is saying “off with their heads”

it’s true. he wants someone else to do it

Mega Scrafty, hot topic looking pokemon with a hoodie and goth bangs. Real loose pants.

Oh, they made a Pokémon that vapes

illustration of soldier over sleeping person, blocking barrage of artillery. with captions “content about the shape and size of epstein’s penis” over the artillery, “me not reposting it” over the soldier, and “my beautiful followers” over the sleeper

🫡

we’re going to get the tv version of the epstein files with commercial breaks and whatnot

[sinking in quicksand]

me: oh no

wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help

me: ok

[mambo no. 5 starts to play]

me: OH NO

really should’ve been a guy from Road Rules

can he do that

crud

first look at chuck norris at 85

ok now what

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

i don’t want new people right now

me scrolling past names like nuzzi and lizza

someone tell elon

[thinking about every scandal trump has endured and how it only emboldened the community who identified with that behavior] oh no

email inbox with 32,961 unread messages

oh fuck they just U2 dropped the epstein files

the world will start healing when we start making elixirs again

done

(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men

toilet paper budget through the roof

asking a legal expert if prisoners typically get a puppy

screenshot from facebook marketplace with photo of what i assume is cheese salad, text reads “today’s picks $12 cheese salad”

“no the economy is fine”

if the world’s most powerful pedophile is taken down not because of his sex with minors but because of a blowjob between two consenting (albeit terrible) adults it’s going to be really maddening

lol it’s because i put “naked” in the alt text