@captaincoach.bsky.social
post-ironic thought slop 🌀
i miss long haired harry styles
27.02.2026 21:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0tate mcrae is zara larson for cis people
15.02.2026 15:57 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0this was the meeting time that was promised to us 3000 years ago
15.02.2026 13:45 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0giving up on la roche posay bc they fund genocide 💅
13.02.2026 20:39 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0my insecurity is ugly but idk how to make it stop
11.02.2026 17:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0processing transcripts, listening to zara larson, and entering a flow state
05.02.2026 17:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0traits i inherited from my dad:
- tying my self worth to my work performance and/or general productivity
- substance abuse
- adoration of crass comedy
- tax evasion
i love being a big ol nasty gal
03.02.2026 22:13 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0everyday i wake up and make snackrifices
03.02.2026 21:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0fuck my fucking chungus life
29.01.2026 23:25 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0no yeah
27.01.2026 20:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0fuck trump fuck vance fuck ice fuck pedos fuck fascism fuck fossil fuels fuck fast fashion FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK
09.01.2026 19:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0the year is 2036. the iphone 1 billion was just released. it has a feature that jerks you off but the lube is sold separately.
08.01.2026 22:19 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0my new year’s resolution is to measure once and cut twice
30.12.2025 18:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0LOVE making curry!! makes me feel fancy using those curry cubes. and the veggies only need a rough chop which helps. this is so earnest lol
30.12.2025 18:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0does anyone have access to some local anesthetic that they can shoot into my foot i have a weird thing i need to shave off but it hurts
30.12.2025 18:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0i’ll have what he’s having
23.12.2025 17:27 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0we never got a one direction christmas album and i’m physically sick i could throw up what a tragedy
17.12.2025 16:17 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0my new year’s resolution is to start publicly calling people out for not washing their hands after using the bathroom
16.12.2025 19:37 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0so true
11.12.2025 18:56 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0im also on that cold type shit rn twin
11.12.2025 17:28 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0where my cutie patooties at ?
05.12.2025 20:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0happy “happy thanksgiving, pilgrims” day to those who celebrate
27.11.2025 14:27 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0at this point graveyards are just goth dog parks
25.11.2025 12:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0it’s right now o’clock
23.11.2025 17:13 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
running errands via automobile rn and i spot 2 alternative peeps walking, one with pink hair and the other with green hair. it took every ounce of self control i have to not roll down the window, point at them, and yell WOOAH WOOAH WOOOOAAAAHHHH WOAH al a keke palmer at the one award show
20.11.2025 17:29 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0i can forgive a lot of unpleasant personality traits if someone is hard working and reliable
17.11.2025 22:49 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0in a lyft heading to the consolato generale d’italia singing my heart will go on with my driver don’t txt
07.11.2025 14:37 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0don’t let your scabs hold you back from reaching your full potential
06.11.2025 20:52 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
