An Avocado

My kids have measles and my SNAP benefits were cut. But at least those cashiers at Walmart aren’t writing “they/them” on their name tags anymore.

SCREAMING

My gender is very casual to me. It's *other people* who wanna make it a big deal.

Every picture of every species they have discovered is something out of my worst nightmare. Please, I beg.

Ok wait I just read about this and they discovered THIRTY NEW SPECIES. LEAVE THE OCEAN ALONE.

I am showing respect to the carnivorous death ball and leaving it the fuck alone

Say it with me everyone: what happens in the ocean is NONE of my business

Let’s hear it out. You have the floor, carnivorous death ball

If Hilary Duff ends up going on tour, I will pay buckets of money to go see her, do you understand me

We have officially entered the time of year where I am literally never warm. Please send thoughts and prayers in this difficult time.

Goddamn Interview with the Vampire is a SHOW

Colorado voters have approved raising taxes on households earning over $300,000 to fund meals for all public school students, raise salaries for school meal staff, and bolster SNAP at the state level.

I just really need someone to give me like $50,000

I'm happy that Mamdani won. But I won't let that get in the way of my celebrating Cuomo losing.

Live updates: US voters head to the polls in first general election since Trump's return to power One year after Donald Trump retook the presidency, 2025 Election Day includes closely watched races for New York City mayor, New Jersey governor and California's Proposition 50.

BREAKING: Colorado voters approved a ballot measure that would raise state income taxes on higher-earning households to fund free meals for all public school students.

Follow AP for live updates.

A photo of Sonya Massey on the left, and Sean Grayson on the right

PEORIA, Ill. (AP) — Illinois deputy found guilty of murder in the shooting of Sonya Massey, a Black woman who called 911 asking for help.

Omfg

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

You know, I left my culty church 15 years ago, and I *still* have people reaching out to me to talk about it when they themselves get out and I just think that’s interesting

I just rewatched it to prepare for the movie and I just love it SO MUCH

Choosing Chainsaw Man as my first anime was a mistake because quite frankly nothing else will measure up to

the funniest thing about this is that those of us who grew up in the divide all have a bunch of pre-cell phone numbers memorized and almost none afterwards

I know the home phone numbers of two of my childhood best friends from thirty years ago and none of the cell numbers of my college friends

Human Rights Watch Doesn’t Want Any Riyadh Comedy Festival Money Taking money from those who took money from Saudi Arabia would impact perception of the org’s independence.

LMAOOOOO

A bunch of comedians tried to make up for their participation in the Riyadh comedy festival by donating their pay to Human Rights Watch and Human rights Watch was like “nah bitch we don’t want your dirty blood money” 😂😂 I’m dying

“Can’t you just keep them on a 72 hour psych hold for observation?” I cannot because that doesn’t exist! Where have you gotten this idea?

Desperately want to know where the idea of a “72 hour psych hold” came from. That’s not a thing. At least in Michigan. It doesn’t exist. And so many people ask about it.

👀

Anyway, looking for a new goddamn job right the fuck now

I CAN IMAGINE

LOLOL

I'm turning around on this technology now that i realized we are maybe two years from having the ability to entomb all billionaires in an eternal zoom meeting.