Marls

Would you be interested in meeting up somewhere in the woods and just scream? We can get coffee after.

a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and overalls making a funny face . ALT: a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and overalls making a funny face .

I lowkey forgot I even had this account

The new Dracula movie has me in a chokehold

“How are you still single?”

How I talk to men:

After removing all the old furniture from my room, building 2 nightstands and a queen bed I was so tired my legs were literally shaking. It’s not complete but it’s a start and I’m so happy. Getting rid of the furniture my ex husband and I bought together years ago feels so liberating

My autistic son has no sense of danger. He wouldn’t understand the importance of staying quiet and still in the case of an active shooter at school.

Yes, I’m angry. You should also be angry. How many more children have to die for our government to do SOMETHING?!

New nail set 💅🏻

Am I the only one that delete my own TikTok comments on other videos just because the notifications become annoying?

The “p” in my name stands for patience.

That’s why it’s not there

Animals run to me, kids smile at me, strangers tell me their stories. So no, I don’t care what you think of me because at the end of the day, energy will never lie.

Can I help you?

I just saw a video of a woman on TikTok disciplining a fish… A FISH WAS PUT IN TIME OUT 😭😂😂

I’M DYING 😂😂😂

These were in the basket for almost a week 😭😂

My arch nemesis…

I’M TIRED OF THIS GRANDPA 😭😭😭

“Sorry it’s tmi”

Girl I would help you take out your diva cup. There’s no such thing as tmi for me.

I’m not the “baby mama”, I’m the ex wife, the mother, the custodial parent, the one showing up every day and not making excuses.

Now talk to me nice…

Diva since ‘98 😌💅🏻✨

In front of my salad?

Team Jacob or team Edward?

Team Carlisle 😌✨

Why is torrid charging $50-$80 for a blouse?! I’m not spending almost $100 on just 1 clothing item, y’all are cray cray…

How do you guys manage to look hot with a sheet mask? I look straight out of a Freddy Krueger movie. FFS

Kermit says hi. YOU BETTER SAY IT BACK 👊🏼

a woman in a pink dress with pearls on her ear ALT: a woman in a pink dress with pearls on her ear

When he says “thank god you’re not crazy” but I’m literally Portuguese

Nobody ever apologized for how they treated me, they just blamed me for how I reacted. Then they’re surprised when I’m resentful.

He said he liked physical touch, so I bitch slapped him 😇

“You look happier”

Thanks, I stopped caring about what people think of me.

“You only live once” AND THANK FUCK FOR THAT. I couldn’t do this shit again 😭

Sometimes I get so caught up in motherhood that I forget I’m just a girl in her 20s living life for the first time too.

This heatwave got me out here sweating my tits off at 6 am 😭