lord of the slimes

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 Dick sucking awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 IT'S TIME TO GET ☠️SPOOKY💀 👏 GET 👊FISTED👊 BY A 💀SKELETON 💀SHOVE✊🍭 CANDY 🌽🌽CORN🍬 IN YOUR👉PUSSY😽 AND 🙅DONT🙅‍♂️ FORGET TO SUCK😩🙌 SOME 💏DRACULA💉 DICK🍆💦😫 SO PUT 🔛 YOUR 👗👑COSTUMES👘👒 AND GO 🚪DOOR TO DOOR🚪 👀👅💦BEGGING😩 FOR THAT 😍GOOD GOOD😍 SEND THIS TO TWELVE1️⃣2️⃣ ☠️SPOOKY👻 🍑SLUTS🌮 TO 👁SHOW💁 THAT YOURE READY TO GET SOME 🍫CHOCOLATE🍫 COVERED 🍆DICK🌽🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃

dracula kinda fucked it up. i’m just saying, i would be a better dracula.

Three stills from the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula; first one is a close-up of a handwritten letter, with the caption, "Your friend, D," next one is a close up of Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker, with the caption, "D?" and the third one is Gary Oldman as Dracula, laughing, and the caption is, "Deez nutz!"

my phone's about to live

he’s so terrified of being old and dying lol

a tweet from bill de blasio (@lubchansky): tried to dunk a basketball (im very tall and thought i would be able to) and instead hit myself in the weiner with a big hammer somehow

can’t believe “de blasio impersonator” is in the news and it isn’t your girl

THEY'RE LETTING A BABY DRIVE A CAR

like yeah i get it you can climb like a spider and have no sense of gym etiquette, try being 200 lbs and tired. off with you.

also i would pay extra for nights with no teens or children allowed at the climbing gym lol

they should have ‘middle aged people who don’t like talking or being noticed’ nights at the gym

the expectations people posting on the internet have of random people to de-arrest others and the shaming they do when it doesn’t happen bothers me a lot.

(doorstop noises)

it’s crazy how i almost never use my phone for phoning

she looks like she’s concentrating really hard on getting puffy

a fluffy shorthair gray tabby cat in loaf form and staring at the ground

she’s fattening herself up for winter and it’s sooo cute

i bet rfk jr thinks paxton is stupid

get in losers we're going losing

oh my god it looks so much worse in color lol

Ok clearly he’s evil but what does the solo synth project he definitely has sound like

look at them!!

me enjoying a internet web content post

it’s still going to be in the low 80s it’s just a major improvement compared to usual lol

i’m so excited about the weather cooling off tomorrow that i got stomach butterflies

i love it so much, it’s a heart shaped hoya. i don’t think it will grow beyond a single leaf and people usually hate that but i think it’s cuuute

two jackolanters with strange designs on a kitchen counter

the basis for the first design, it is pictish stone carving of a beast that might be salmon inspired?

a round blue disc with a primitive map of the night sky in gold

may i present for your edification, the pictish beast and the nebra sky disc in pumpkin moonshine form. i will post pics of them lit up this evening after it gets dark too

please for the love of god fuck off

a shelf of my plants, the new ones are two variations of maiden hair ferns and a nasturtium (i accidentally killed my previous one by cutting its hair too short)

i got a few new friends, the ferns are going into my windowless bathroom once i get a grow light, pray for them

this Halloween, im watching the freaking news🤣🤣

a plate of risotto and pulled mushrooms that look so much like chunks of steak

it’s crazy that this is mushrooms and not meat. mushrooms are so powerful

squid had been doing a thing where she brings me a toy in the middle of the night and yodels, sometimes if i sleep through it i wake up with a toy next to my head