Jack Thomas

Just spelled racquetball correctly on my fisrt try. If you need to reach me I’ll be hat shoopping for sizes big enough to fit my maszive craneum.

I do t wanna be buried. Or cremated. When I die I wanna be emulsified. Let me live on as aioli.

But the noise his mouth made wasn’t a spitting kinda noise like a p or a t sound it wasn’t a stop plosive!

Am I crazy or was that a booger/coke crumb?

bisexuals:

can u smell my septum right now?

My guy had to try out a couple different tactics

100% she dropped in on the Sunday showcase!

Just got offstage at SF Punchline and the comic after me was Ali Wong

Buying the stuff to make the long form YouTube content is really great until it arrives and then I have to make long form YouTube content

Headliner 😤😤😤 not that it matters

I better see some of y’all here in the next couple minutes!!! If not it’s ok!!!!! NBD just disappointed in u<3333

Am I delusional for feeling like the Luigi guy they found is a plant or a frame job? It just seems all too perfect of an arrest? He escaped pretty scott free and then just keeps the weapon and other proof on his person at all times??? Idk ignore me lol

Me on jeopardy: what is…going on

If Ross ran after Rachel in todays airports he would be barred from air travel and possibly shot

Throw me on there! Bay Area stand up, 500k on TikTok trying to grow on here

Who are we following in here??

I graduated from acting school that’s why I’m able to disappear into a character

Damn so few of my videos are less than a min

Bluesky has such an opportunity now that the TikTok ban is moving forward to like FIX the TikTok/reels format

Hypothetically if I were to have purple would that mean that I then, in turn, have grapes?

Small town stand up comedy:

“Anyway… y’all know Steven?”

Can you post videos on here???

Put the lime in the coconut and nobody gets hurt