Ben

I suspect also that British TERFs in particular are concentrated in a class that tolerates their bigotry so when they broadcast their beliefs to a larger audience and get pushback, their self-image as a good person becomes threatened and they lash out in a similar manner to narcissistic injury

Cropped photograph of an elderly bespectacled British man with an expression that seems halfway between panic and guilt

Me RN

Found out last night someone managed to steal my card details to spend hundreds of pounds on Onlyfans which, yes, DOES sound very "oh no a strange man burst into the room and forced that cake into my mouth" but is, sadly, true 😭

He's gorgeous!

Then my job here is done

So you know how bad you have to be at your job as PM to make me think I could do it better?

Listen, I'll take whatever I can get at this point, sun's out tops off!

I will never do good posts and you can't make me

She Gort on my Denton till my polls closed.

Has anyone done that yet? Is that anything?

On the bright side I'm sure this strategy of 'everyone who voted Green is ontologically evil. Big, soft, wet kisses to Reform, our only valid opposition party" will reap dividends

Feeling devastated that Gorton and Denton will soon know all too well the painful sting of Sharia Law.

This is why, if there's another man in your dream, you have to top him. Sorry everyone, I don't make the rules.

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. The dynamic isn't 'the press lambasts Labour if they move from the centre' it's 'the press calls Labour delusional lefties if they move left and calls them delusional lefties compared to the fash if they move right'

Source tells me that Goodwin is stable.

Please God

It's so funny to stick with 'family voting' in light of the actual results because it means you need to convince yourself that over 10% of the entire electorate are Muslim housewives who have been forced by their, presumably socially conservative, husbands to vote for the most left wing party

God help me, I'm ready to get my heart broken again

Even that isn't as silly as Accident, Maryland.

I was shocked, SHOCKED, to check this person's timeline and find that their problems are not due to everyone else but because they're an aggro weirdo who spams non-sequitors then gets mad when people don't read their mind

Agree and I'm not sure why, I think it's because they indicate you want to go titties-out but are simultaneously too ashamed to actually get them out

And that's without even mentioning your proudest achievement: finally killing the vile ne'er-do-well James Bond

Yeah, he's absolutely a failson. It's like if Eric got arrested but his father didn't really give a shi-it's like if Eric got arrested.

Mark it in the fucking calendar. Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Nonce Monday

Best comparison I can think of is Andrew is like arresting the First Lady (wields influence through position but little direct political power) whereas Mandelson is like if Stephen Miller had a 30-year political career

No worries! If I didn't hit the character limit I'd have said that might be what threw you, with Johnson calling a snap election by choice after winning the leadership election

Starmer going wouldn't trigger a snap general election as, in our system, you vote for the party, not the leader. It'd likely just trigger a leadership election, an internal process whereby Labour members vote on a new leader, like when Boris Johnson resigned and the Conservatives elected Truss

Photograph of two wooden paddles hanging from a white wall. One has 'Uke' and a Japanese character written on it and the other has 'Seme'

Finally my time has come

I would post the 'I believe everyone involved in this story should die' image but, well...

Wishing you all the best for the move. Let me know if you want to swap contact details if you could use another friendly face in (South) London

It's like a regular gynecologist but their scrubs are in tactical camo

@nogodsnomayors.com Wayne Dingus the panty-sniffing mayor. Hi-YAH