formerly olympics-brained camille. i'm normal now

depends whose

A tweet from a guy named "Swolecialist" that says "bitch not this clock shit"

i'm on the team of posting this every time no matter what direction the clocks are changing

and then good vibes only

you ever feel like your life is shrinking and shrinking, down to a pinpoint? actually given who all i know on here i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you do

also it was v noticeable when planes started flying again a few days later. relatedly my folks out in vancouver hosted some people, strangers, who were stranded by the flights all being cancelled

i was in college in montreal and we didn't have a tv and all the news type websites were crashing nonstop because ofc everyone was trying to get on them and it was 2001. i also remember having to go to the drugstore and saying "world war 3 might be starting but i still have my period"

when i make my stupid little posts it is different, of course. that's a different kind of stupid

if they take your blood and then put it back in you but backwards it makes you evil. unless you were already evil and then it makes you good

i'm not even talking about people who say evil things. they aren't embarrassed because they agree with themselves and think they are cool and right. i mean people who just say things that sound like, idk, a decorative sign come to life, or as if they're reading from a script

i don't know what i need to do to get people to be embarrassed by saying trite or stupid things again

not yet! sorry 2 my many foes and enemies

there's a cloud of skunk smell permeating my whole neighborhood, i just walked my kid to school and i smelled it from the moment i stepped out the door to all the way down by the school - by the time i got home i felt like i could taste it

in that case let me bravely say that mixing up a bowl of oatmeal with the wrong hand is basically impossible! try it and see!!

doves are just pigeons with pr teams

sometimes you just want to make posts about how weird it feels to stir a bowl of something using your non-dominant hand but that feels irresponsible and disrespectful when Things are Happening

extremely cool that when very bad things are happening in the real world, there are also additional and only somewhat related bad things happening on the internet

An old painting of a woman in bed, presumably from tuberculosis/consumption. The image-macro/meme text over it says "The only ethical consumption under capitalism is tuberculosis"

i don't mean the thrill of being married wears off after 6 months but the novelty of the phrase does eventually

marriage as an institution can be hit or miss but i love it when a friend gets married because for like 6 months they find a way to say "my wife" or "my husband" or what have you in as many situations as possible

one of the annoying things about having a lot of snow lying around all over town is that there's often not enough room to pass a slow walker, and as a person of fast walking experience this means i am forever getting stuck behind someone whose speedometer is set on "meander"

Do you think when Alexander cut through the Gordian Knot the Gordions were like, wtf man we have a knot based economy

a digital collage with a pink, purple, green, yellow, and teal gradient overlaid on all the images. the images include a horse carrying a bucket, a cluster of mushrooms, a grub, a birds talon, a cicada, five spiders, two flower buds, a hand with an eye over the back of it, and a microscope slide of atoms. there is white text that reads "get weirder or die miserable." the background is black and there is a slightly grainy texture

get weirder 🫵

I don’t care about the SOTU. I don’t even want to read think pieces about the SOTU, that’s how little I care.

big fan of giving the nod of strangerly agreement to the guy in the grocery store wearing the abolish ice tshirt

if anyone comes in here to tell me about those little pretzel sticks i'm reporting you to the office of joke management

this post is dedicated to that one beloved friend who is about as straight as a pretzel and everybody knows it but her

it's so so dorky that instagram shows you which of your friends liked some other post EXCEPT when it shows you which putatively-straight friends are out here liking a bunch of gay jokes (as in, jokes for gay people, not at their expense)

i know the olympics are over now but i feel like someone could find a spare gold medal for this

this blizzard ain't shit, i haven't lost one man to the tuunbaq yet

hmm ok you have a point... back to the drawing board