Anita Bergmann

Got a text from
the dems literally hounding me for money

I asked them what they did with the billion dollars they raised with which they failed to even prevent the election of an actual fucking nazi

I have made a terrible error. I clicked on an amazon ad

In my defense, it was to look at a weird-ass waffle iron. I *thought* it was for making an edible death star

It was merely for something called a waffle bowl

DISAPPOINTED

I am so mad at past me for making it so today is 100 housework

My favorite nicknames (so far) for the CEO assassin:

The Co-Pay Killer

Out of Pocket Max

The Adjuster

Robin Hoodie

Feel free to add your own

LUNA: 3-2-1 blastoff! We’re in space!

ME: Luna is an astronaut!

MARK: I am a rocket man!

ME: I am a space oddity!

I can work with that; thank you!

My old man needs one of those. Can you say where you got it, pls?

I just tried to out nerd Mark by remarking that the F1 commentator sounds just like Alan Cumming and he not only agreed with me, he started talking about how they were likely educated at the same achools and now I can’t tell if I won or not

If they didn’t want us to laugh, why did they write it so fucking *funny*?!?!

A poll: Arsenic and Old Lace, or Harvey?

Please show your work

Thanks!

idk every godzilla movie I'm like, u can't destroy godzilla 🤷🏻‍♂️ he's a metaphor 😌

How are you going to tell us this and not provide the title?

Um. Please

How the fuck are we ever gonna find out if tossing a billionaire in a live volcano fixes the economy if we don’t ever try it?

Maybe no one’s working all that hard to find the guy

/just a theory

I was already feeling pretty guilloitine-ish and then my ass got dragged into Hollywood for work

We’re talking Calcutta levels of wealth disparity (with major apologies to Calcutta for the slander)

I have been working for (counts on fingers) 42 years and my stretch goal for the rest of my life is not to be homeless (again). Why the fuck do you *think* I’m angry?

Mark unearthed a so bad it’s good, tv guilty pleasure: The Champions.

Put 1967 in a blender with allusions to James Bond and Mission: Impossible

Add a preposterous and rather colonialist backstory, then maybe smoke a bowl. Gape in wonder over what people got money to do on tv back in the day

American Dreamer (2024 Remix / Remaster), by Buck AE Down track by Buck AE Down

ITS BANDCAMP FRIDAY!
That means any music you get from Bandcamp today 100% of the profits go to the artist. Bandcamp takes none. Its revolutionary

Here’s my work. you can download anything for free or pay whatever you want for anything,

buckaedown.bandcamp.com/track/americ...

OMG THERE’S A NEW SEASON OF WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS HOW DID I MISS THIS

/yay

My facebook feed is filthy with health insurance ads today 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

all human life is sacred, so it's not proper to laugh when serious harm befalls someone. the moral thing to do is instead charge them hundreds of thousands of dollars

Thou Shalt Not Deny People Health Insurance Capitalism and healthcare do not mix.

People hate health insurance companies with a passion. They’re not laughing because someone died—they’re laughing because the system that crushed them finally took a hit.

I’m not currently reading Agatha Christie by a crackling fireplace on a snowy day whilst indulging in multiple cups of tea and freshly-baked scones, so no, I’m afraid your email didn’t “find me well”.

“I’ll stop drinking if you let me run the Pentagon” is maybe the most alcoholic thing anyone has ever said

Pete Hegseth promises to stop drinking if he gets confirmed. But did he promise to stop assaulting women?

Click to Visit #ASafeChoice Network

If you see this post, can you please help spread this information?

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People everywhere need to know about this option. These doctors have capacity to help more women!

Let’s spread word! ❤️✊

i have never rooted for trump to do anything as hard as i am for him to dangle this DoD appointment in front of DeSantis just to pull it at the last second out of sheer malignant spite