eleanoir — misplaced angel. 🪽

Silverwolf from #HonkaiStarRail! Innocent gamer girl pose or something idk
If you wish to support or see alts: www.patreon.com/distr

Feel bad because I don't often get to be in the "chased" bit of things and I guess I have a bout of on/off domme exhaustion?

But it's also extremely temperamental with the whole demiromantic thing.

Guess I occasionally get affected but never really grow a crush, which is a plus?

Ngl the idea of someone with model themes similar to mine claiming me as their little sister just because I'm smaller than them (or actually are older) and being kinda pushy and flirty and so such is kinda

We Could Be Anime Together

Hearing myself in a playback from that Cloverpit stream is so funny like

I know I was exaggerating things a bit but I really do have a few little habits that still push through huh

But I am very glad my audio is finally at a spot where I can get loud and it won't clip aggressively.

So, anyways

this is the face of a girl who would make fun of you while she rides you and call you a pervert for wanting to put her hands on her i dont make the rules (I do)

listen if I use this on stream and get raided and flung around, there's a non-zero chance I'll end up flashing people

fuck that's another upside huh.........

Benefit; large leg real estate

Downside(?); the underwear could be extremely visible...

Making a school uniform style outfit for the doll and I'm stroking my chin like.....

Super short skirt that is almost in line with this sweater, or. . . . . . .

Im getting better by testing waters and not being shamed when something doesn't hit.

The tsunhimedere stuff is good and im glad people play into it. I get to feel important without diminishing others, which was my largest issue.

I am a princess who earned the respect of my loyal Hands and Knights

It still really sucks the only way I "improved" was through loss, but I wouldn't have really liked forcing myself to be okay with a one sided servitude either.

Shouldn't have had to even consider it to keep someone.
I'm worth more than that. I'm a prince of my own right, not just some setpiece.

Part of me still fears im just exaggerating these realizations, but what's exaggerated?

I spoke of fears of replacement and playful dynamics were revoked and sought out from others because I had boundaries. Where's the lie?

Calling it out wouldn't change anything. Never did.

The whole "if you wont engage in it purely as I want, then its easier to find someone who will" still really bothers me.

All this admittance of feeling only used for sex, that my interests aren't important, that I'm replaceable – just to basically say to my face yes, I can be replaced.

Realistically my self worth had tanked over the last years and while i don't like the idea of saying one person was the source, constantly failing to be closer and "good enough to be sought after" was not helpful

And feeling more distance for not liking some kinks while trying to explore was... hm

people are way too comfortable allowing a government to dictate what is and isn't acceptable sexual expression

Even if incest kinks aren’t your thing and even if you find it disgusting or weird, this is dangerous. They’ve come after strangulation and seem to be coming for more. This isn’t about “safety” it’s about controlling online anonymity and further shaming sexuality. Wishing my friends in the UK luck ❤️

I tried to do a standing upskirt pose for Dorothy but it is literally so short that the camera has to clip through the floor and it creates some culling issues in certain areas

However. I think she could rock purple and white striped panties to keep on her colours

Although we are all considering the image of Dorothy gripping onto her skirt and squirming and making unsavory noises while helping her with pin feathers right it's not just me

Said within a big sigh, I would like the reassurance that people like me for me, and not just the apparent sex appeal I have by being a vocally loud and open queer person.

The idea of free use is cute because I'm liked so much hands can't keep off and I get shown off — not just because I'm willing.

birthday train

Christ I need to try and calm down and eat something

I don't like catching onto a pattern of being used for other people's reassurance or entertainment it makes me feel so dirty in the bad ways

And all but the 2nd made it seem like it was my fault for being upset about that.

Fucking hell. Yeah of course I'm going to be upset when as a friend you abandon me then crawl back after a year for YOUR reassurance just to abandon me again.

There's a history of being fucking used, it seems.

It's no wonder I'm sexually repressed

1st relevant ex coerced me threatening a breakup if I don't have sex and later rapes me

2nd goes too fast and pressured explicits

Tmasc fwb fetishized and dehumanized me to just a dick

3rd refused to engage with much and sought out strangers more often

Tch. That 'mutual friend' didnt even apologize for how he treated me when i tried to rejoin the first's area. Didn't apologize for all the stress.
Nothing for treating me solely as a sex object and a fucking online dildo. For saying he didn't care about my identity and just that I had a dick.

Prick

Tried to help with so much, did stupid shit with his friend and that person probably only liked me through fetishizing transwomen, got ignored and set aside and came knocking at my door and I was like fuck fine I kind of want better treatment.

Theeeen silence. No checks, just self reassurance.

Maybe its me being bitter today talking but seeing someone again who only reconnected with me for his own benifit and refused to actually step up as a friend when asked has made me immediately more sour

Glad he's got some numbers I guess but I hope he knows he kinda did the same stepping stone shit

I'm having trouble calming down qnd don'twanna get out of bed, but I guess I was due for some sort of emotional spike...

I don't want any relationship, romantic or platonic, to end in me being blamed for other people's flaws I will fucking draw blood if that happens again

"I'd like you to speak to your ex"
"Okay could you check and see if they're comfortable and set us up?"

"You never said you wanted a mediator why are you upset I didn't try to set you up"
I said such multiple times I'm not to blame for your refusal to help me do something you want holy fuck

You know it really sucks when you wake up irrationally angry (likely because I realized more past relationship things that were just blamed on me were not my fault)

I'm feeling hungry but the thought of eating grosses me out, I'm tired, I feel helpless, and I kinda wanna get stupid drunk at 8am.

personally I think sitting Dorothy in your lap and using her as a cockwarmer while she reads or copies entries from a spellbook is good and encouraged

my brain is gigantic for keeping it just shy of four and a half feet

Most of its outfits having high soles to make her taller is also just funny