Dani Oliver

It's bountiful, the dogshit

Tempted to Boomer Dad “well look who just woke up” to the G train when it gets here

I think about this maybe, like, once a week. Like how do we explain to these people that raw milk is exactly the same as regular milk but it has cow shit in it

Had to stop reading this for sanity but this genre of writing can only be described as "the note that lady with the crazy eyes in your apartment building tapes to the communal front door"

At 9 AM I fall in love with Amy. We’re in my friend’s old Corolla, following an Immigration and Customs Enforcement vehicle in our neighborhood. We only know “Amy” through the Signal voice call we’re on together, alongside more than eight hundred others, all trying to coordinate sightings throughout South Minneapolis. Amy drives a silver Subaru and is directly in front of us, expertly tailing a black Wagoneer with two masked agents in front. The Wagoneer skips a red light to try and lose us, but Amy’s fast. She bolts across the intersection, Bullitt-style, and we follow just behind, shouting inside the car, GO AMY! WE LOVE YOU! “I’m gonna fucking marry Amy,” my friend says. “You think it’s chill to propose over this call?”

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It's currently snowing in Brooklyn precisely the way it begins to snow when two people realize they love each other in a movie

A reminder that the only single reason for something like this is eugenicist thinking, and that they not only don't care that people will die, but they want them to

My favorite thing about socks is how they slowly suffocate your feet until you can't take it anymore

My favorite thing about British actors doing American accents is the Mickey Mouse pitch with the Minnesota cum New York inflection

My favorite thing about Emily in Paris is that all the love interests are doofy sweet interchangeable pushovers and they all gain 20lbs of muscle mass between each season

For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"

They're bad at literally everything, including kerning

Drooling all over my tofu like, oh shit this is it

Wish one of you had had the decency to tell me what sichuan peppercorns were before tonight when I tried a new dish and fully convinced myself I HAD RABIES

This is the only quiz that matters

Is it Cyber Monday or is it Giving Tuesday Eve, she wonders, once again, to herself

The New York Times (edited headline subbed ) Without proof, vaccine denialists leading F.D.A. Attributes 10 Children's Deaths to Covid Vaccines The agency's top vaccine regulaith said hui deniew had found that the children were likely to have died "because of" the shots. But public health experts want to examine the data. are skeptical given his established anti-vaccine agenda.

A🧵
This is profoundly irresponsible by AGSulzberger’s NYT, @by-cjewett.bsky.social +eds.

The normalization, “view-from-nowhere”, “born-yesterday”, stenography, “both-sides”, irresponsible headline are disgraceful.
THE story is the CDC&FDA are being destroyed by antiscience & Americans will die.
1/n

Bookmatch ends in ONE WEEK! Get your personalized book recommendations before it’s gone.

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We’re heading into the final stretch of our annual Bookmatch. Take this year’s quiz before it’s gone!

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the annual @nplusonemag.com Bookmatch makes me laugh SO hard that a top reward tier should simply be a recommending something equally as funny

Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad

the nuzzi story is fun and all but at the center of it is the elevation of a man who has dedicated his life to making children catch preventable diseases to a position where he can enact harm at enormous scale

N+1 bookmatch quiz exactly as delightful as I've heard

Everyone’s teeth are too big now. I understand the appeal of veneers sure but the mouths, they’re barely closed

My Bookmatch results from @nplusonemag.com include 3 books I've read and one that I own but haven't cracked yet. Let NO ONE say this isn't scientifically calibrated! Excited for the rest.

Tonight our mailman got into a tussle with some of our neighbors and one guy brought a giant branch from down the block to threaten him with! Which was sad because I love our mailman! But I think he may have slept with my neighbor's wife

Hey so “underage girls” are…children. The word you’re looking for is children. They’re not like, women-in-waiting or women-lite or whatever. They’re children. I think some of you are very uncomfortable with what that means for you but it is still true.

Me, a development lady, for the rest of the year

On Alex's recommendation, I did this, and I bought three new books of the ten chosen for me, and if that doesn't suggest this list knows me, one selection was penned by a definite nemesis.

The @nplusonemag.com book match quiz is funny--I even cackled--and then the book recommendations included 3 favorites. A good time for a good cause: secure.givelively.org/donate/n1-fo...