Howard Tayler

I make killer baked beans, and I enjoy them with breakfast, but there are more colorful, shelf-stable things to be put in Christmas ornaments.

I'm watching THE TWITS on Netflix. It's charming, and so gross.

If you can grab it with pliers it's safest to just twist and pry and leave the power tools in the bag.

I have a DeWalt drill with adjustable torque. It's prevented me from stripping lots of screws... now that I know what adjustable torque is for.

I re-watched KILLER, starring Michael Fassbender, last night. Slow burn, great storytelling.

But however you managed it, you get a victory lap. Because stripped screws are the worst.

Stripped screws are the worst.

Power drill, can of WD-40. Lube the drill bit as you drill straight into the screw head. The oil keeps the bit from overheating. (This trick works for any metal-drilling job.)

Eventually you'll destroy the screw and can pull the bits out with needlenose pliers.

This is how you know the heist took place in Paris.

Parisian style is inimitable.

Hang this in the... uh...

Beans in a Christmas ornament, though?

I'm painting again, so sure, I'll accept that.

@simonberman.bsky.social I was just thinking of you! I found my old Brush Wielder's Union patch buried in a box of kitbashery, and checked out the BWU website. I'm glad you're still doing that!

There's a "stool pigeon" joke rattling around in here somewhere. It might even be loose.

In this season it's important to remember the lesson of egg nog:

It's basically a failed custard, but it decided to live larger than that failure and now it's so good and yet so bad for us that we can only have it for three months each year.

Some people think it's funny but this time it's on the money...

This is the first time in the history of ever that the Kumquat Couch Pototus has posted something that reflects my opinion of him.

Man with spyglass: "Someone's coming!" Guard at gate: "Open the gate!" Man with spyglass: "It's a king!" Guard at gate: "Close the gate!" Man with spyglass: "It's Stephen King!" Guard at gate: "Open the gate a little!"

One of the most effective acts of resistance you can perform right now is to block the MAGA trolls and gov accounts that recently arrived here.

They're here to bait, screen-cap, and then use your out-of-context quips into fuel for their bonfires. Don't give them a single scrap.

Block and be done.

The math checks out.

The reason they're coming after this place is because they can't control the people on it and it drives them nuts.

cartoon: A pin up of Sally

From the Larchives. A pin up of Sally. Enjoy :)

PANEL 1: The MACHITO floats above a cloudy planet, stars in space behind them. LOCATION: THE MACHITO, ON SASEET Nando, from inside the ship: But Captain…you’re acting like you’re going to stroll in, give your report, and stroll out. PANEL 2: NANDO, a young man in a baseball hat and imperial uniform, stands next to the CAPTAIN, an older woman with a grey bouffant hair and glasses. She stands at a control panel, holding a mug of coffee. NANDO: …What if this is just an execution’s summons from my uncle? CAPTAIN: I’m damned if I go, and I”m damned if I don’t go, ‘Nando. At least in going…there’s a chance. PANEL 3: The CAPTAIN takes a sip, while SKITTER, a squirrel-like creatures with a mohawk, flies in his chair in silhouette behind her. CAPTAIN: You now better than anyone: if I DON’T report in, he can take over the ship remotely. SKITTER: The Empire can do that? Fly this ship REMOTELY? PANEL 4: NOSH, a large bumpy alien, leans in, while NANDO squints in reaction. NOSH: Is called “Drive Recovery Protocol.” Is meant for when peoples steal a ship with a Cruz drive. NANDO: They’re right. As the onboard Familia, I”m actually supposed to trigger it locally. But Emperors have done it remotely, in the past. PANEL 5: From outside the ship, we see the MACHITO flying through FTL space, stars streaking by, as the ship heads toward a bright light. SKITTER, from inside the ship: Wait wait wait. Why doesn’t the Empire just fly EVERY ship remotely then? NOSH, from inside the ship: Is not good pilotings. THERE IS A HUGE LAG. You send signal to turn left, and like two minutes later it turn left. So steering is not comfy fun times. PANEL 6: NOSH makes a motion of one fist punching in to another. SKITTER, in his chair, looks worried in his reaction. NOSH: But THAT is not a problem during drive recovery protocol, because you prolly trying to fly ship into HARD-TO-MISS SPOT. …like thermo-nuclear star. SKITTER: I seeeeeee [music note]

Bluesky pals! I have a sci-fi graphic novel called DRIVE, & it's my favorite thing I've ever done! If you need a long, escapist read at the moment the entire thing is free to read, here: drivecomic.com
(THIS PAGE: Drive Recovery Protocol )

An Honest Death and Other Stories by Howard Tayler

Looking for a spooky read this month? Howard has this book of four horror short stories. shop.schlockmercenar...

I loved that episode.

Uline's owners "have used their wealth to funnel millions of dollars into the most extreme RW politicians & mvmts... contributed $144 million to conservative groups in the 2024 election cycle... donated $4+ million to bankroll anti-abortion groups who pushed to overturn Roe v Wade."
refuseuline.com

A drawing of Howard Tayler with Schlock

In just over an hour Howard and Sandra will be hosting a Zoom Hangout for Patrons!
www.patreon.com/post...

If you see this, quote post with your favorite Pokémon (wrong answers only.)

If you see this, quote post with your favorite Pokémon (wrong answers only.)

You could try giving up on giving up, but your psyche can probably see through that plot.

Granted, both films are chock-full of outstanding scenes, and brilliantly powerful moments. But the slide projector? I'll scrub to that moment and watch it any time.