Matt Stallings

Astigmatism is awesome!
All I got to do is take my glasses off at night and I have a free laser show 😆🥳

I eat Cheetos with chopsticks so I don't get the cheese dust on my fingers

I wish I could experience Skyrim again for the first time

Well, it looks like they reviewed and said I did nothing wrong and even further explained that they locked down my account because someone was trying to hack into it or something...
Like, you could have told me that up front instead of giving me a panic attack, lol

Really agitated the iPhones don't have functional, fre, auto clickers...
Looks like I'd have to jailbreak for that...merrrr

Getting the stems out of your weed is like deboning your nugs

I wonder how many people try and plan it to where they have their baby on solstice day haha

My appeal is still "under review"
So we'll see what the Facebook grand a jury decides

I just use it primarily for shit posting, Star Wars stuff like y'all in the core community, and keeping in touch with people that I actually know....

I've had the same account for 16 years, whole lot of history. I'll make a new one to keep in contact with people if I need to.
Merrrrrrr

Well it just had my main Facebook of 16 years permanently banned for reasons I don't know....
That's cool

I keep getting ads for traveling to Southeast Asia area... Which is strange because I already been through Southeast Asia...hmmm

Is this the algorithms way of trying to hint that I need to get the fuck out of the country?, lol

Dead Souls is cozy

They need to make a Doritos locos crunch wrap supreme

I'm still upset to the fact that toys were never made for The Dark Crystal

At what point does the amount of spray tan Donald Trump uses become blackface? 😆

So you know how you'll hit skip when it comes to dialogue in a game sometimes?

I've started doing that IRL to people when I don't want to hear what they're saying....
It absolutely entertains the fuck out of me how mad people get.
Get all up in my face and I'm just like "skip!" And walk away 😆😆

"damn, she sounds cool"

Say this when a man is complaining about something his "crazy ex" did to him...

Alternatively, you could say, "whoa Legend"

I do not love Willow, but that's also because I deny myself the weakness of love. I love nothing

Like beauty and the beast

When you pull a muscle in your neck so bad that you end up having to turn your entire body to look at things the rest of the day like Michael Keaton's Batman

Pumpkin spice coleslaw

Trump is due for his annual checkup tomorrow.
No matter how bad your life may be, just remember that there's someone that has to give Trump a prostate exam.

You achieve happiness by simply lowering your standards until you succeed by accident.

Pumpkin spice cottage cheese

I fucking hate it when I'm a day early for an appointment, lol

Don’t believe everything you read in public toilets. Kristi Noem is NOT up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was!

The only boots worth licking are worn by goth girls

So why doesn't the governors of some of these states activate their national guard to fight back against the Trump administration?
The National guard exist literally to protect state sovereignty against federal overreach, That's literally what the second amendment is about