maddie ✨

people who misspell book characters’ names make me crazy cause dawg it’s WRITTEN

coming into a children’s museum reeking of weed is crazy

i had a dream last night that i was able to hug florence welch and it was the most euphoric moment of my dream realm life

nothing pisses me off more than AI mukbangs cause what is the fucking point

we’re watching the boondocks cause i haven’t since i was a kid and our toddler is currently a parrot who will repeat anything she hears so i think we’re playing a very dangerous game here

i hate being responsible. 80% of my tax return went to paying my car and the rest went into my savings

do i speak spanish? none. did i understand a word of that show? barely a single one. but i didn’t need any words to easily see that that was a celebration of culture and unity, and it was fantastic

call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas

AND RICKY MARTIN???

GAGA???????

i hope one day kristi noem realizes that there’s no path to redemption for her and that she should just kill herself

doctor: avoid caffeinated drinks until your antibiotics are up

me: *goes home and makes a latte*

nicki minaj is a fucking LOSERRRRRR

fedex it does not take 5 fucking days to move a package from memphis to dayton

i cannot fucking STAND fedex dude

listen i’m all about breaking gender norms but panera said my delivery driver’s name was molly, and it ended up being an old guy with a long beard and a leather jacket. i don’t think his name was molly

man fedex is so ass

people need to be better at realizing when their “playful banter” with a stranger is just insults lol

accidentally bought white cheddar instead of white american to make queso blanco so i tried to make it anyway and it was *weird*

instagram has made it way too easy to accidentally repost stuff

do you guys know how easy it is to NOT hit reply all

fuck ticketmaster and fuck axs

like i didn’t even finish it because i didn’t care at all how it ends lmao

finally watched materialists last night……. how did they manage to make it that fucking boring? not even pedro could save it and that says a TON coming from me

a 14 year old in a system of a down t-shirt just told me “you look really cool” so that was my big ego boost for the day

very difficult time for someone who’s trying to watch her spending but also wants spiritbox and yungblud tickets

crazy how so many maga’s have some kind of superiority complex when most of them would be out-grammared by a fourth grader

do you have any idea how much you have to fucking suck for me to put any of my precious energy into hating you

men, please stop using your girlfriends’ doordash accounts or whatever. i was getting a delivery from “jessica” and my dasher was a white guy who looked like his favorite rapper is jack harlow

i just saw someone in an instagram comment refer to ashley johnson as “the girl from the avengers” and that’s crazy