💭 missing gen1

trying to flesh out the general theme of cmuse is so hard why are you emo!!

muse rosendutch, a weak-willed man, will always end up being drowned by love though—never truly escaping it, even if he tried

muse; a lovely yet lonely man, always treated vulnerability with care, even if he never allowed it for himself, for his actions were always disgustingly contradictory

muse rosendutch has always loved to his fullest, but love will be the very thing to hurt him

the vulnerability acquired by love scared muse rosendutch, and it was for a good reason—it was why he always hovered, never being too selfish, his altruism clear as day to anyone but him, his own birdcage

muse rosendutch was and is a pitiful man, he loved people greatly; he always has, he's loved everyone with all he's got, but he was never given enough time—so he processed love as a small thing, the sun peeking after a terrible storm, only for it to be covered again by the gloomy clouds

muse rosendutch was a man who loved, and lost due to his loving; for muse rosendutch, love was destructive just as it was a blessing to one's life

for muse rosendutch, he could love; but not allow himself to be attached—because his heart was too big, too exposed

too easy to hurt, to discard

muse rosendutch loved people like it was breathing, but he never took an actual breath, one relieving and calm; he only took short and quick ones, hasty ones, for he was always too short on time—or given little time

muse rosendutch was discarded due to love, was adopted due to love, was abandoned because of love, and that very love was what burnt into his skin, made him avoided roughening others up with the callouses decorating his hands

muse rosendutch would hover, but never touch

muse rosendutch loved people like it was practice; he assured people and encouraged it's students like it was reading off a script, he's learned his actions from the people he's observed in his lifetime

muse rosendutch let people into his life, but never truly allowed them into his own fickle heart

muse rosendutch never really liked the softest and delicate things; he always feared that once such vulnerableness would end up in his control—he'd break it quicker than anybody

muse rosendutch was a man who allowed love into his life, but never really understood it, never let himself understand it

bsky.app/profile/ains... literally

professor rosendutch has a different appearance to cmuse (considering cmuse just literally stole the skin of others and made shit up)

one's brownhaired the other blackhaired oh the epitome of lameness

only thing that makes them similar is ponytail and glasses oh my god prof rosendutch you lame-o

prof rosendutch rework and i realize how lame he looks compared to cmuse

i need to stay naming the love interests . hello there Zachary . hello there kelsey . meet Muse .

2nd li disguised arachnid and cwte cmuse thinks he's got it covered but nooooooo. he fucked up and now he found himself in the arachnid's web . . in the end they're using eachother but they're also not . because it's predator-predator . ok ok. i sound crazy

can't decide if 2nd li is a arachnid or human . but i wanna make the 2nd li human because 2nd li WAS supposedly cmuse's next victim . until 2nd li completely flipped the script ......... hahahahahhaha.a oh the thoughts.

cwte cmuse has been on my mind . imagine being a evil little guy but then a arachnid comes along and decides you're it's main target now ....!!!!!!!!

actor cmuse would've been such a ruckus if he got enough confidence so im absolutely allowed to bully the fuck out of him

the only times he can feel alive is when he falls inlove; the giddiness of it, the stupidity of it, he can be idiotic, because he is in love, that's how simple it is, how simple it was—before he was rejected, and led to being humiliated by his entire class.

he had been dead the moment he had reached the age of 12, and whatever he was now was just a corpse trying to force itself into the lives of others.

prof rosendutch decided that he wouldn't kill himself until his time is up, but for hs cmuse, who's just a kid thinking his emotions are out of nowhere because he's got a "okay life", hs cmuse knows his time is up, there isn't anything he wants to pursue,

hs cmuse who isn't grown like prof rosendutch ends up isolating himself whenever he can, he goes to school, talks to people, do the work, go home, sleep, repeat—when his dad tells him he can move to a new school, he's okay, but the cycle always follows him; breathe, blink, repeat

thought in the back of my mind where hs cmuse never meets gen1 because he's always putting himself into situations where he doesn't want to meet new people anymore; he's scared of letting himself love, for him, meeting people was putting his head out for a beheading, and for him, love is also cruel

runrunrun by dm cwte cmuse & 2nd li........... 2nd li perspective

if cmuse was a animal rather than a shulker (in general, ANYTHING but a shulker) would be the happiest cmuse has ever been because he has something gen1 cmuse can never have; a identity that belongs to him and only him.

not anyone's, not a separate entity, just muse, just /himself/.

cmuse ........ other possibilities ..... yk ... fox cmuse at first ... but before .. fox....... was bunny ... bunny cmuse ....... stupid bunny guy.....

its most of the reason why whenever he gets ambushed by paparazzi out in public, he immediately tries to dip away—or when he's with cfaye, he quickly just melts into her shadow, never wanting to be the face of the camera

every now and then whenever he's placed in front of cameras he gets so shaky, so scared, but he has to suck it up—he needed to preserve what he could of his li's memory, not be a wimp and run away from the cameras.

yet he's still very, very afraid; he's lucky his co-workers don't notice.

actor cmuse who was deathly afraid of cameras at first and didn't want to ever become a actor but his li wanted to be a actor so he had to suck up his fear and try to become his li in this sick coping mechanism after his li dies