Coffee Wizard ☕️

where is this

🥺💕💕

kitteh looking at you very suspicious

don’t piss me off

olivia wilde is a changeling and she’s evil

tapped in to a new genre of literature and extracting its juices

communicated telepathically with a giraffe at the zoo earlier, she said humans are vermin to them

RFK jr and dax shepherd are the same being. it’s a shapeshifter but it can’t really shapeshift very well. it used to take the form of zach braff as well

robert. south carolina is gone

first of all. give me my shit back

foam? microscopic

traded some gold pieces for a couple grimoires last week and i’m gonna eat them all instead of reading them

ate 72 magic beans. gonna go germinate

my apprentice seems to have sampled some of my cheese wheel. it’s not magic it’s just a cheese wheel

we’ve been cursing our enemies for over 10 years

does this kill the wizard

biting someone tomorrow

bro i am trying give me a chance

she’s a board member of best friends club. we just had a meeting

if you start casting spells in latin in front of me i’m gonna hit you with a microplastics stare because wtf is wrong with you. buy a potion or get out of my tower

all these potions do is give me diarrhea

wife here, can confirm he drank au jus on one of our first dates

cut all my limbs off so i don’t have to go to work

what the fuckkkkkkk

the potions guild master ended up being evil and had a blonde boy apprentice. self-taught cleric (horrifically misguided AND stupid?) anyway i cancelled my membership

monsters inc nails

wavy rainbow pride nails

circus animal cookie nails

nailed it

currently listening to a frog scream outside my window while i’m trying to sleep

eversys espresso machine

computer-aided potioncrafting

if you ever get magically summoned you can just repeat the summoner’s encantation backwards to resist the effects. i’ve been summoned to the potions guild no less than 4 times this week

neelix was a sweetie idc