Eddie Princeton

What a game. Hard to believe there are probably only nine innings left.

give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you

Coworker: Any plans for tonight?

Me: Gonna hang out with my black cats, do some witchcraft, curse my enemies, frighten children…

Coworker: Haha you must really love Halloween.

Me: What the fuck is Halloween?

I think it helps that they're not jamming up the world title scene

I think I might be the only one to remember that The New York Times gifted Bari and all-expenses paid sojourn to Australia and she came back with a single essay about Australian politics that was written at a eighth grade level and almost completely incorrect. She a stupido, y'all.

Okay I just got a say this massive Batman slamming this dude down on his head, feels like he definitely killed this guy with the One Winged Angel

There are people in office who are armored by incumbency who aren't a tenth as brave as this woman

Fuck em, do all the dumb things that piss them off

Okay guys hear me out: if he wins the election, he does his acceptance speech in a fan suit

...hair?

Our kid has approx. 6 million aunties and another 5 million uncles

It's been pretty hilarious that almost every time Mariota runs he gets tackled in the most over the top way possible

Man I am sick of passes bouncing off of Kelce and into defenders hands. Get your shit together Travis

The best IMAX screen in my area is getting a 70mm projector again and while I am very excited I'm owed a fuck ton of revival screenings for everything I missed.

Dunkirk.
Tenet.
Oppenheimer.
Sinners.

I am owed these at the very least. Make it happen Cinemark

Never been actually proud of Aurora until now

Trying so hard not to just be a 24/7 doomer but BOY THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE NOT MAKING IT EASY

They’d look at my spice rack and immediately deport me.

I’ve been thinking about how hard the founding fathers cooked with the Third Amendment.

Imagine being forced to house ICE. I can’t imagine they wash their hands. They’ve never done laundry in their lives. They’d break your stuff if you didn’t cut the crusts off their sandwiches.

Ah! I saw it yesterday and immediately sent it to my wife with an eye on buying one for our daughter

Kris Statlander and Harley Cameron licking frosting after Mercedes Moné plunged Mercedes Puppét into a cake

Pro wrestling is normal #aewdynamite

Is one of those dudes holding Mercedes belts actually the Beast Mortos?

Why is foreskin so expensive

Andy Reid Urges Chris Jones To Soak In Hot Tub Filled With Chopped Vegetables

Andy Reid Urges Chris Jones To Soak In Hot Tub Filled With Chopped Vegetables https://theonion.com/andy-reid-urges-chris-jones-to-soak-in-hot-tub-filled-with-chopped-vegetables/

The video looping back to the beginning is so funny

Well, you can finally cross “I’ve seen a handcuffed, inflatable penis” off your bucket list

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA NATIONAL TRANSPORTATION SAFETY BOARD ***************** Investigation of: LOSS OF THE SUBMARINE TITAN IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC OCEAN ON JUNE 18, 2023 * * * * * * Accident No.: *********** * * * * * * Interview of: Co-designer/Pilot Deepsea Challenger DCA23FM036 via Microsoft Teams Friday, July 26, 2024

INTERVIEW OF 10 BY LCDR 11 Q. So how did you get yourself started into submersible 12 operations? 13 A. Well, I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic. When I 14 set down the path to make that film, the first thing that I did 15 was arrange to be introduced to the head of the submersible 16 program at the P.P. Shirshov Institute in Moscow, a guy named 17| Professor I. I did that through a mutual friend 18 of ours, a guy named , who is one of the preeminent underwater cinematographers in the world. And had been on a 20 submersible expedition out to Titanic the previous year with the 21 Russians. And that was organized by a Canadian company that was 22 doing an IMAX film which was released under the title Titanica.

Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."

Quail Man!

If the non compete thing is legit this signing got even dumber

Six panels: Panel one: a man is clutching his butthole shouting "OH GOD MY BUTTHOLE" Panel two: the same man is clutching his butthole shouting "I'm in so much pain my butthooole!!!" Panel three: the same man is clutching his butthole shouting "Please someone help me! Please help my butthole." Panel four: a second man comes to help asking "oh goodness Mr, what can I do to help?!" Panel five: butthole man pulls a gun and shoots the man trying to help "Tony Lazuto says hello" Panel six: two onlookers. Man one: "incredible" Man two: "he's carries out 47 hits like this".

Never not funny